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I’m in trouble

They are fighting at the breakfast table.

“I have the most loom bracelets.” My little one brags, even though he doesn’t.

“You do not.” My eight year-old is quick to correct; soggy, Honey Nut Cheerios falling from his mouth.

“Yes I do!” My five year-old insists, holding on tightly to his dignity.  It’s a loom eat loom world.

“You don’t!” My eight year old yells, totally agitated. He is the enforcer of justice in the world, except when he’s wrong, then he’ll just scream till you forget what the original argument even was.

“Stop teasing each other,” I reprimand mildly, wiping up the cereal. “And eat.”

“No! I won’t” My boy with the offended morals exclaims. “He’s wrong. Admit it.Tell him, he doesn’t!”

I sigh, heavily, and tell my five year-old that he indeed does not have the most bracelets.

“It would just be nice if you guys wouldn’t make the biggest deals over the smallest things.”

“Now you’re making a big deal over a small thing.” My eight year-old yells.

“Okay, you need to stop yelling.” I’m getting annoyed.

“NO!”

Eight year-old has transferred his frustration onto me and I’m close to transferring mine right back.

“If you don’t, you can go right up to your room.”  I am calm. I am in control.

“Ha ha!” My five year-old provokes, with the stinky, little brother face to match.

“You’re so annoying!” Eight year-old shouts, again spitting wet Cheerios on to the table.

I need to put an end to this nonsense. “Okay, stop it right now, or you’ll both go to your rooms!”

At that, my 11 year-old, who had miraculously been minding his own business, snickers.

“What’s so funny?” I huff.

“You. You’re not sending anyone to their room.”

“What do you mean?” His twinkly, smug smile is pissing me off.

“I mean, you let everyone get away with everything.”

“I do not!” I am not so calm. I am not so in control.

“Yeah, you don’t really ever do anything.” My eight year-old pipes in merrily. Nothing like fresh meat to turn the tide.

“Yeah Momma! Yeah momma!” My five year old chants, standing on his chair doing the ‘my momma has no balls’ dance.

They’re all laughing.

Apparently, everyone is getting along just fine now.

Whatever.

I’m going to my room.

He's going to be way better at it than I am.

He’s going to be so much better at it.

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

22 responses »

  1. The outstanding wife

    Brilliant! Love it.

    Reply
  2. Oh you are in so much trouble!!! Lol! They are hysterical, and I just love it when my oldest chimes in at the end of a younger sibling squabble too! I totally think you should go to your room!! xo

    Reply
  3. HA! I love your five year old’s two cents. “Yeah, mama. Yeah”. SO funny! I send myself to my room everyday!

    Reply
  4. bruceschindler1@gmail.com

    Very funny. emptythreatmama.com.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  5. That’s not a bad threat, “don’t make me go to my room for the rest of the night!” Then storm off with a six pack while the little peckers look at each other like what the hell just happened? Hmmmm. I like it. Those loom bracelets or whatever are ridiculous. They apparently are selling them to each other at my daughter’s school. Lessons in capitalism I guess.

    Reply
  6. Isn’t it sweet when siblings share a common bond. 🙂 Growing up, the only thing my twin sister and I ever agreed on was that Kirk Cameron (pre-crazy) was the best looking guy around (and by “around” I mean no where near us) and that our parents definitely sucked! Aren’t kids just the sweetest.

    Reply
  7. This happens to me all the time!! I’m trying to stick through it lately but I have to say its not easy!!

    Reply
  8. Oh, it’s so hard to enforce and be consistent. Going to my room is a treat!

    Reply
  9. Oh no! I hear some fighting between my kids at 2-4 but it’s not too extreme. Annoying for sure though!

    Reply
  10. “Yeah Momma! Yeah momma!”

    This made me giggle. I hope you have a mini-fridge in your room stocked with wine, because it sounds like you probably need it when the three of them get going 🙂

    Reply
  11. Oh my gosh. The age of reasoning-out-that-mom-doesn’t-do-half-what-she-says. Dangerous!

    Also. . . Loom bracelets are SERIOUS stuff. I know, because I only have a 12-year-old son, but I’ve got enough tiny colored rubberbands scattered through this house to stock a mouse post office.

    Reply

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