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Mother’s Day? More like Other’s Day.

Yesterday had all the makings of a typical Monday only I was more… cranky. Yes, even more than usual.

It started right from my jeans feeling tight to we are out of frozen pancakes. So, in between the lunch making, the backpack checking and the children out of bed dragging, I whipped up a batch so that my boy who doesn’t sleep and barely eats didn’t blow away on his field trip. Since, I am no longer the mom who is whipping up fresh anything on a school morning, I expected a little woo-hoo from the crowd. Instead I heard, “Do we have Mini Wheats?”

And my ‘fajita wraps’ at dinner? One child suggested, we “wrap them up and give them away.”

Smart ass.

All in all, the day was typical. There were the usual Monday chores to get through, but I did them just a little frazzled. The nice checkout girl at the supermarket had no idea what was wrong with me when I snapped after she asked me if I if I have a discount card. “Are you kidding? I live here. Yeah, I have a card.”

Doing the laundry, I was extra aggravated and instead of searching for the missing socks, I just threw them all into the garbage in frustration. It was my most satisfying moment of the day.

Right now, my son is whistling on his computer next to me and it’s driving me insane.

whistling jack

I was trying to figure out why I was extra sensitive, but then it hit me like a box of crappy chocolate. It was Mother’s Day backlash.

“How was your Mother’s Day?” was the general question all day. These were some of the laments, I mean, answers, I heard…

Woman at the gym: “Was it Mother’s Day? I spent the day doing the same crap I always do, only I had to host my entire family as well.

Woman at the school: “I’d call it more Grandmother’s Day.”

Women everywhere: “Fine.”

Not that yesterday wasn’t nice. Oh the sweet cards from the kids shoved in my face at 6:30am. Oh, the fabulous family gathering. Yeah, yeah, it was all great, but… it certainly wasn’t ‘my day’.

All hail the mother who was smart enough to get a massage, hook up with some friends, and get away from her family. That’s what I’m talking about. But what does my yesterday have to do with today? Mother’s day has come and gone and here I am, back at the sink washing the dishes, schlepping the laundry, fulfilling all the ‘mommy can you get me’s” and doing all the stuff that needs to be done. Nothing has changed. Not that I expected anything to change. I’m just as unappreciated today as I pretty much was yesterday, and now I guess I’ve got to wait another year for Hallmark to sanction some more appreciation! I mean come on! Let’s just call it what it is. Mother’s day is not about Mothers. It’s about my children. It’s about getting gifts for my mother and mother-in-law. It’s about us all hanging out together, one big mosh pit of screaming kids and laughing, drinking, arguing, eating adults! My son is still whistling!! OH MY GOD!

I think we need a secret Mother’s Day after Mother’s Day; when all the expectation and the hoopla have gone and we can relax and do a little something nice for ourselves. That’s it. I feel much better now.

Next year, I’m so in. Call me. Please.

Save me, after Mother's Day Day, save me.

Save me,  Mother’s Day after Mother’s Day, save me.

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

38 responses »

  1. Happy belated Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day after Mother’s Day!

  2. Winnie Schindler

    just think if you survive all this, one day you to can become a grandmother, mother-in law, just like us.

    On Tue, May 14, 2013 at 7:52 AM, Icescreammama

  3. Wow, you pretty much summed up my Mother’s Day. Monday things were back to normal, feeling underappreciated. Exactly! Although, to give my husband some credit, he DID take the kids over to his mom’s for a few hours. (only after I begged him to!) Next year, definitely celebrate the Day After Mother’s Day by treating yourself to some silence, you deserve it.

  4. I had post-Mother’s Day backlash too. There seems to be more caretaking on Mother’s Day as we are spending all day with the kids and caring for our own mother’s. Responsibilities in over drive. I really just wanted … a nap.

  5. Agreed! Whenever I can I have my ex take the kids on Mother’s Day so I can spend it alone. I still have to take my 83 year old mother out to buy ME something for Mother’s Day because she doesn’t drive anymore. Is there any use asking what’s the use?

  6. THANK YOU FOR THIS! I love the “More like Grandmother’s Day.” Brilliant.

    At dinner on Mother’s Day, my husband said grace and thanked God for all of the mothers at the table (specifically noting HIS mother). Afterwards, my F-I-L made a toast for my husband because I wouldn’t be a mother if I didn’t have my husband to make me one.

  7. I had a great mother’s day, but here’s the downside: I also felt so selfish and ashamed of being so ME ME ME. I did what I wanted to do– dragged my family to a 5K breast cancer race and decluttered the house. Not glamorous but it was all mine. Still. I Feel guilty.

    WTF motherhood?

  8. Plenty of chaos for a day that should celebrate ” you” as a mother and not as a mule….!
    Agree with your future purpose: let’s nominate a special day for each of us to have our wishes granted! ( massage , nap , special ice-cream doses ,eating out , etc etc….)

  9. You hit the nail on the head with this one!

  10. Do something nice for yourself today! Like, right now. Go get a pedicure, or have lunch somewhere with a book and a drink in complete silence. You totally deserve it.

    • ha. then who’d get everything done??! i actually have a few massage GC that are just waiting for me! can you believe it’s hard to find the time?? but i’ no sob story, i try to do things for myself all the time. in fact, i’m having lunch with my sisinlaw soon! thank you!! 🙂

  11. It’s not easy being a mama is it? I was driving all over town on Sunday morning for my daughter’s science project because her father allowed the kids to eat the left over ice cream and guess what she writes as the acknowledgements… “I would like to thank my daddy for buying me the material for my project and my teacher for helping me.” HELLO!!?!? Who was the one that was typing up your report because you were having an anxiety attack?!?! ME! MOM! MOI!MOMMY!! Yeah…I thought so…but all in all it was a great day though. ((HUGS)) and go redeem those GCs woman!

  12. You touched a nerve! Come to think of it, I sent the grandma’s cards, but they didn’t send me one. Hmm. For me it’s about my kids, though, and I know they love me.

  13. This is the best post about Mother’s Day I’ve seen lately even if I am sorry you were underwhelmed. I loved the ‘why don’t we wrap them up and give them away’ comment. If your son wants a pen pal, he’d get along just fine with my eldest 😉

  14. I have come to believe that Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate “motherhood” in all it’s glory. We are truly thrilled and grateful for boxes made out of macaroni or picture frames decorated with fingerprints. We cry over cards signed by little hands just learning to write. We brag to our friends over the gourmet meals of burnt toast and kitchen disasters. It is not any kind of “day off.’ I LOVE your idea of having a separate holiday!! Sign me up!!! Great post, thanks!

    • you’re right. it’s not really a me day, but for some reason, like the birthday, it’s got this expectation around it, that makes you think you’re special, so it winds up being a bit of a let down. however, it’s a lovely let down. all good.

  15. This is why I lower my expectations big time on the “big” days. I try to remember those little moments in the harried days and over the course of the year, they all add up to one Mother’s Day. I’m in for a spa day next year. That would be the real Mother’s Day – getting away from it all.

  16. My girlfriend’s birthday, anniversary and mother’s day all fell within two weeks of each other. She referred to it as “the hat-trick of disappointment” or sometimes the “trifecta of disappointment”. Her disappointment is now a thing of the past, as she has done just what you suggest: she takes care of herself on these days…also, she divorced her husband. (feel free to share this post with your husband.) 😉

  17. I’m in for a post or pre Mother’s Day spa day and girlfriend outing next year. I love your friend’s response that it is more like Grandmother’s Day – that’s my experience too. I’m calling this Sunday my Mother’s Day redo and scheduling a pedicure for myself. Great post!

  18. Deliberately Delicious

    My kids were at their Dad’s house for Mother’s Day this year; so I spent the Saturday at the spa with one girlfriend and went out for dinner with another, and then picked up my guys just for a couple of hours on Sunday morning (so that we could have a brunch with Grandma). Five years ago, I would have been horrified by the prospect of a Mother’s Day spent this way. But it has its merits…. 🙂


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