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My mom is Red Hot. Your Mom ain’t Diddly Squat.

Every day, I look at my reflection and think, I remember that girl’s younger sister. Every day, I see small little changes. Laugh lines that aren’t funny. Freckles that have turned to the dark side.

Every day I look at my mom and wonder how the hey she’s aging in reverse while I’m speeding light years ahead.

Why is she rolling up her shorts, while I won’t even wear a pair?

How does she go to the gym every day, play tennis and go dancing at night, while I’m exhausted just running away from my children?

I honestly don’t know if there’s ever been a 65 year-old woman so… cute.

Even as she registered herself for Medicare, the woman behind the counter, probably 20 years her junior, gushed, “Stop it! You’re not 65 years-old! You’re just the cutest thing.”

My mother smiled coyly, and showed her license. Yeah, she’s sexy too.

Having an adorable, sexy, mom, is not an easy thing for a girl starting middle age. Okay, fine, it wasn’t easy for a girl starting high school, either.

Everywhere we go, people are always assuming we’re sisters. That would be fine, if I could at least be the hot one, but it’s no guarantee. Because while I may be younger, she’s still MaryAnn with a side of Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, and I’m, uh, the Professor? It’s just how it is.

Still, she continues to try to ‘hotten’ me up.

For as long as I can remember, she’s been unbuttoning my blouse to show off a little more, reminding me to put on lipstick and fixing my hair.

I, of course, decided to never wear lipstick, or brush my hair, and for a while took to wearing large prairie dresses. I still kind of like them. Sue me.

She brings me white strips for my teeth every three months and sexy low cut tops to wear going out.

She is no longer allowed near me with a tweezer.

Not too long ago, she took one of her pretty manicured nails and pointed at the crease between my brows. “I can have that fixed.” She said with the cutest giggle.

“Mom!” I said, a little too defensively, gnawing on an unpolished nail, “Maybe I don’t want to be fixed.”

She giggled again.  “Okay. You let me know.”

Sigh. I will.

Because even though I naturally try to resist her wily ways, her hotness is a blessing. It makes me try a little harder. Run a little farther. Without her, my teeth wouldn’t be as gleaming and my cleavage would never come out to say hi.

So today, I honor my forever young mom who’s helping me to age the best I can.

Yup, that's my mom!

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

67 responses »

  1. Happy birthday to you! And yes, your mom is gorgeous. She looks about 20 years younger than she is, must be nice.

  2. She’s cute and so are you. If my mom tried to offer to fix my face I’d be crushed. You Are stronger than I am.

  3. Happy birthday , Feliz cumpleaños , buon compleanno!!!
    You two , are two different beauties……
    That’s all!
    No need to be like her: you’re gorgeous ,too,in YOUR way , ok?

  4. My mum and I are entirely different looks and clothes wise. You are too and that’s fine. She looks happy so let her revel in it but don’t let her try to fix you – you don’t need fixing!


    You’re mom is…wow!! Buy you’re very beautiful yourself.

    My mom just started taking care of herself now and is looking pretty good. She doesn’t tell me what I need to do or how to dress because we are not that close but if we were she probably would. My sister who is 4 years older than me looks like she’s 10 years younger. I hate them. LOL..actually I don’t. I decided to take up getting better about my appearance so I have resulted to posting embarassing pictures of myself in a bikini on-line. Lord help me!!

  6. Happy Birthday!! I work in the beauty industry – every day there is a mom dragging her unwilling daughter to pick out a lipstick that she will never wear….it’s quite normal:)

  7. Happy Birthday- you are on point about your mom! I am 30 and fade as soon as I get home from work!

  8. Happy birthday!!! And what is it with moms trying to dress us? My mom brings me a crap-ton of clothes every time she visits. Some are cure, but the majority make me feel like Barbara Bush, so I donate those. I have no idea why she thinks that work wear should be so conservative. I’m not wearing plunging necklines, but dude! Clothes can come in more colors than navy and gray…

  9. Mom’s (and their mothering) comes in all shapes and sizes don’t they? My mom (who has also been mistaken for my sister) spent my childhood telling me how ugly she was. Little did she realize she was not only degrading herself, but me! I know better. I know how gorgeous I am (and she is too!)

  10. Happy Birthday! I’d say something about your mom, but I’m a guy blogging in a female controlled world, so I’ll keep quiet. I get in enough trouble here at home.

  11. nuh uh that’s not your mom!! :))) happy happy birthday! xo

  12. Happy birthday! My mother and I are “sisters” too, but she’s pretty low maintenance (and pretty), so it works.

  13. Happy Birthday!!
    I loved reading about your Mom. It sounds like you guys have a great relationship, and I bet you are a hoot to be around. 🙂

  14. Wow wee kazowie! Your mom is HOT! Don’t kill me for saying this, but I thought the photo was of your sister. I wasn’t sure if you had a sister or not. In any case, you have lots to look forward during the next twenty years. I’m confident that you will age just as beautifully! 🙂

  15. Prairie dresses are super hot! Have a great birthday. Thanks for the laugh.

  16. I’m beginning to feel like I look older than my hot mom, instead of just inheriting her good genes like I hoped. This is hard, but also funny–especially where you refer to yourself as the professor. 🙂 Just the right amount of honor and self-deprecation.

  17. Well, she is a sexy mama.

    And the reason she can it’s because she has time, right? 🙂 and as long as it helps her get up in the morning and be happy and feel awesome, that’s all a daughter could ask.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  18. samanthabmerel

    I love when you write about your relationship with you mom, you guys sound so great together. Happy birthday week! Hope you have ice cream every day!

  19. Your mom brings out your best writing – this is such a fantastic post. I love the “professor” line and many others I’m too old now to remember. Happy, happy birthday, twin sister! You can be the hot one in our relationship! 😉 And I think you’re perfection exactly the way you are!

    • ha! and thank you! i don’t know, you can be the hot one.. too much pressure! although you’re already the young one… hmmm i’m going have to think about. it. 🙂

  20. Loved this! Your mom is a hottie, and it sounds like you have a fun relationship. I can’t even imagine my mom bringing me a low cut top…we’re both more likely to buy each other lounge wear. Hope you have a great birthday!

  21. Crikey, looks like I’m a little late to the party! So a belated happy birthday!

    You sure that isn’t you’re older sister? 😉

  22. I feel you. My mom is a hottie too. I totally take after my dad.

  23. I don’t think you or your mother look your age- you both look quite a bit younger!

  24. Wow – your mom has gotten the best of the gene pool happening there. Not many women that age can have arms as obviously toned as hers are. Myself – I try not to wave at anyone these days.

  25. my mom was always the talk of the neighborhood. Hot stuff. Never left the house without makeup and heels. JUst started to wear pants in her 80s.

  26. modmomelleroy

    Happy Birthday!! Sheesh – I wish I had your mom’s arms. It’s like that line from Bill & Ted: “Dude, your mom is hot.” 🙂

  27. I have a hot mom, too! Boys at school used to tell me how hot my mom was. It was so obnoxious. haha

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  30. Your mom IS hot! What a coinkidink – so is my mom – but your mom is ROCKIN’ the dress!

  31. OOps, pressed too soon. Let’s start again, hey girl, I worry I’m going to be your mom. Not that I’ll look that great at 65, but I have a tomboy daughter who could care less about being beautiful (and, of course, I think she is) and all I want to do is make her wear her gorgeous braided hair down. I better back on up outa that. xo

    • ya know, i’d say let her be who she is, but nothing wrong with a little nudge here and there. push too hard and she’ll go the other way. now that i’m older, i really appreciate who my mom is and how gorgeous she looks and even her annoying efforts to keep me looking my best. good luck!

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