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Five New Year’s Resolutions That I Probably Won’t Keep

It’s almost the new year! Ho Ho Holy crap. Does that mean I’m supposed to reassess and all? Do some reflection and make resolutions? I’m Jewish, I did my reflecting back during Yom Kippur. I don’t want to do it again. Wine, wine! No that isn’t a typo. I’m not bitching, if I’m going to do this, I need some wine.

Okay, now that my cup runneth over, here are 5 things I hope to accomplish in the New Year.

One – Just say no. As in, No kid, get your own milk. No, PTA mom, I will not bake 100 cupcakes and stuff envelopes for you. No, mom, I’m not getting my kid a haircut. No, dad, I don’t feel like picking up the phone. No, children, I’m not making each of you a different dinner. Yes! That felt good. I mean, No! That felt good. Also, as much as it pains me, I must include, No, self, you don’t need that second bowl of ice cream, which means you certainly don’t need the third.

To be in complete ying/yang balance, number two is – Just say Yes. As in, Yes, I’d like a massage. Yes, I’d like another scoop. (Oh wait, conflict with number one here. I know! I’ll just fit that extra scoop in my first bowl. Problem solved.) Yes, I am going out with the girls tonight. And yes, husband, you are going to love me up. Yes, Yes and more yes please.

Three – Eat some Shutthefuckupcakes… I stole this from Momaical. She recommended giving them out to a number of ‘challenging’ people around the holidays, but I’m going to eat them myself; because frankly, sometimes I just don’t know when to STFU. I tell myself, don’t do it. Hold it in, but off I go. My tongue has a mind of its own. There are also times, when I just want my brain to STFU, so I might try them for that as well. Let me know if you need the recipe.

STFUcakes wouldn’t be the same (or as necessary) without…wine! Resolution number 4 – Drink more. Yes, I need to just sit back, relax, unwind and enjoy a glass of wine. Or two. I’m doing it right now, and I’m thinking, Yeth! This is the beth post I wrotein thoooooooo looooong! I love dis one. I love you too. I’m feeling all teary. I need a moment.

Number five – Do more things for other people. It almost seems impossible because all I do is things for other people, like schlepping, laundry and errands, volunteering at the schools, cooking and catering; but I’m taking about things I don’t resent, uh, I mean, things that aren’t in my normal day to day. Like, bringing a cup of coffee to the Verizon man outside, or buying flowers for the checkout girl, or visiting an older person in the neighborhood. It’s not really for them, it’s for me. Every time, I remember to do that kind of stuff, it makes me happier than the person I’ve done it for. Especially when I bring someone those STFUcakes, and they really could use them. Nothing like helping out those in need.

That’s my list, and I’m sticking to it. Well, hopefully. I’m taking it one day at a time. They’re resolutions, not promises. No pressure here.

Happy almost New Year Everyone! May it be full of sweetness and love.

Drink up. It's a resolution!

Drink up. It’s a resolution! 🙂

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

34 responses »

  1. great wish list, try one a time, and you will succeed. life is to short to worry about them all.,
    love ya the way you are. (perfect)

    Reply
  2. Shutthefuckupcakes. Love it. I think I should give some out AND eat some myself.

    Reply
  3. Awesome list and bonus points for funny presentation 🙂 I havent’ even started thinking about New Year’s resolutions, yet, and I haven’t done a list in years, but I think I’m going to do one. I loved number 5! If only we would ALL add that one to our lists.

    Reply
  4. I often have trouble saying no, so I definitely need that recipe for Shuthefuckupcakes. Of course, I’m willing to share. 🙂

    Reply
  5. I love the shutthefuckupcakes.

    I completely get the do more for others – I do stuff all the time but that’s stuff that leaves me feeling resentful and taken advantage of. Doing something that makes you feel good and someone else feel good is so much more satisfying.

    Reply
  6. Didn’t make any list,yet……
    Mind if I copy yours?
    Of course I won’t succeed in all the purposes ,but I’m going to try…
    Anyway ,Happy New Year !
    Love
    A. B.

    Reply
  7. Great list! I am on board with all of those, so don’t mind me if I just copy them all down for my own bathroom mirror! 🙂 😉

    Reply
  8. This made me laugh until I thought my overstuffed stomach would burst: “I know! I’ll just fit that extra scoop in my first bowl. Problem solved.” Excellent solution.

    Maybe if someone had given my stepmother-in-law some shutthefuckupcakes before that dinner 14 years ago, I wouldn’t have had to let my crazy out.

    Love your resolutions. I’m still debating on whether to even bother making any this year.

    Reply
    • behold the power of STFUcakes!! if only… 🙂
      thank you, but i agree, for years i didn’t bother, but it is nice to do a little mental inventory, even if you don’t follow thru. somehow, all my best intentions fall by the waist side.
      glad it’s not new years, because i totally just went into the ice cream tub 3 times – yes three! i’m disgusting, but happy. 🙂

      Reply
  9. Hmmm…more wine. Yeah, now you’re thinking!

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  10. I would be very happy to help you with #4! 🙂

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    • ha!! i always want to have a nice glass of wine and whenever i do, i really enjoy it. but it seems, i always choose ice cream over the wine and then i’m not in the mood. i could do with a little less ice cream. 🙂

      Reply
  11. I see a shuthefuckupcake party in the future! Sounds like the perfect excuse to eat cake and ice cream, mama!

    Reply
  12. Looove this! It was so funny and well written and honest all at the same time! Good luck with those cupcakes…I can think of a few people I could give them to!

    Reply
  13. I can totally sign off on that list (and the fact that I won’t be able to stick to it either).
    Except saying no, I’m really good at that, ’cause I can be a real bitch in less than 1 second 😉

    Reply
    • thanks!! yeah, it’ll last a day, maybe. tonight, i made three different dinners and had 3 bowls of ice cream – and no wine!! good thing it’s not new years yet!

      i could learn a thing or two about saying no. 🙂

      Reply
  14. I’m coming to your house for STFUcakes and wine. Lots of wine. It will be lovely and we can toast the new year totally plastered and silent because we’ve STFUed. Cheers!

    Reply
  15. A giant Shut the Fucupcake party is in order. Good times will be had in 2013, dammit!

    Reply
  16. Oh I’m shoving a few of those little cakes down my throat right now. =) Here’s to a new year and new”ish” good intentions. love it.

    Aloha Sweet Friend,

    How lucky am I to be a fellow bloggy mom and to be on this sweet journey right along with ya. I’m following you now from the December Bloggy Moms hop.

    If you’re up for a bit of a ride I’d love, love, love for you to join me at “Local Sugar Hawaii where we’re riding the wave of life together, one adventure at a time. And this weekend we’re ringing in the new year together at An Aloha Affair. You can link up all of your creative work and share it with other sweet souls looking to make meaningful connections. Save ya a spot?

    Happy New Years to You and Yours.
    xo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

    Reply
  17. I’m all in on every one of these! You were on a roll with this … love it! I’ll join you in “no” to obligations and “yes” to fun and self care (and a third scoop!).

    Reply
  18. Definitely going with #3 and 4. Need the recipe for STFUcakes! I have problem holding my tongue as well. Interestingly enough, I use that very tongue to savor good wine. Yep, plan on drinking more Malbec in 2013 too! Cheers my friend!

    Reply

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