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Getting Bent Over Bending Over

I think the sales rep winced when he saw us out of the corner of his eye. I can’t be sure because by the time we made our way over, he was all smiles and handshakes. I don’t blame him. I mean, how many times can you show the same people the same stuff? I’ll get back to you on that one.

In our defense, we have never redone our kitchen before and the options are endless. We spend nights surfing the websites, comparing prices and reading reviews for brands like GE, Thermador and Viking.

We waffled over a microwave in the island. We flipped back and forth between a range top with a double wall oven verse a nice full range. We looked at 36 inch fridge, but then our eyes widened at the 42inch and completely bugged out of our heads at the 48inch.

We made every decision half a dozen times and then changed our minds at least half a dozen more. Finally we strode into PC Richards feeling confident that we knew exactly what we wanted, and would up buying something entirely different.

Two days later, we returned everything and was back at square crazy.

We hosted pow-wows at our house. Brother-in-laws debated the merits of one brand over another. Uncles drew layouts for cleaner designs. A friend said everyone doing their kitchens now got double ovens built in the wall. Everyone had an opinion and no one was afraid to share.

The wall oven was one of our biggest points of indecision. Aesthetically I favored the straight range. My husband favored an extra oven for the same money. We were at an appliance impasse. We needed some professional help.

“You should probably consider the double wall oven,” said the designer who was working up a layout for us. “You know, because in a few years it’ll be easier for your back.”

What? Oh no she didn’t.

“Uh, did you just try to sell the double oven on the deterioration of my body?

Sounds of shuffling and backtracking. “Um, ha ha. No, I mean. Uh…”

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

“Really? You really went there? Wow.”

Add some awkward stammering. “No. Ha ha. I just meant, in the next decade.”

Okay, 30 year-old designer was pissing me off. “Yeah, I’m sure I won’t be able to bend over in my 50’s. You’re probably right.”

“No. I mean, ha ha…”

We both did the fake laugh thing while she pulled her very big foot out of her mouth. She should really wait till she gets the job before insulting me.

“Okay, let’s move on, unless you want to suggest any wheelchair ramps I should be installing?”

More awkward giggles on her part. “Oh of course not, you’re in very good shape.”

Oh yeah, who’s bending over now, sweetheart.

I hung up and had my decision.

I would get the range. It provided extra counter space, a more open layout and subtly commented on my obvious youthful agility.

I planned to be shaking and baking for a long time.

Now, can we talk tiles?

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About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

37 responses »

  1. Ha! It’s funny because old. ;)

    Reply
  2. hahaha! Been there – done that – and we’re still in the middle of it! Have changed our mind numerous times and as soon as I get H agreeing with my design work, by the time we get to the store, he’s changed our mind again! It’s the color and the backsplash we are working on now – the color has been changed 3 times already and I mean changed as in painting and repainting. Good luck and hope you live through it! ;)

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  3. SOUNDS LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS, BUT WORTH IT IN THE END. CAN YOU READ THIS TEXT? Lol. Did you get the Viking? I’m jealous, if yes. How sad is it that I would be jealous of appliances?

    Reply
    • Honestly, we did order the whole ridiculous Viking set. Then we returned it all because even though i fell in LOVE with the appliances, the reviews of viking were crap. ‘looks great but be prepared to spend your life waiting for service men’. i mean seriously the reviews were horrible. right now, we went with thermador.. similar looking to viking but much better reviews. who knows… there’s still time to return.

      Reply
  4. Hahahaha! I would have loved to see the flustered look on her face LOL

    ps. Don is such a crazy ass. :D

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  5. Tell her!! I would’ve liked to see her face! I can imagine that while exciting it’s all very stressful. I think you made a good choice.

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  6. SUCH A GREAT POST! I am sending this to my friends who are remodeling. Hilarious.

    My favorite:
    Two days later, we returned everything and was back at square crazy

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  7. Love it! And apparently, the Alzheimer’s is setting in early. The line after she told you that you’re in great shape…..should be “Who’s bending over?” You wrote “Whose”. It’s ok. At your age, I’m just glad you know how to use the Internet. Lmao! I’ll smack myself for ya! :oP

    Sent from my iPhone

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    • thank you! and thank you for the proofing. I hate when I miss stuff like that. And you’re absolutely right! I do suck at the internet. I’m way impressed with myself for even having a blog!! Go old me!! ;)

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  8. You shouldn’t bend over at any age (except for recreational purposes), it’s bad for your back. You should squat instead, which can also be used for recreational purposes.

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  9. Snicker. “Now who’s bending over?” Lol.

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  10. We redid our entire kitchen last year and OMG THE DECISIONS. We went back and forth until you thought the difference between a 5 and 6 burner range was the difference between life and death. Don’t even talk to me about tiles. What are you doing for counters? I recommend quartz instead of granite. We did that, and I’m obsessed with mine.

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    • I can’t even!! I am so overwhelmed by the choices. There are a million. I can’t believe how we’ve tortured ourselves over the range. Haven’t gotten to counters but not getting granite… don’t like the look of it. I really am not into the speckled stuff. I don’t care what the stuff is made of, as long as i like the look of it.

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      • Check out quartz! There are tons of colors, and it’s a far more uniform look than granite. I didn’t love the granite look either. Also, quartz is manufactured on a kibbutz in Israel, which I thought was kind of cool.

  11. You described my biggest reason for not building a house—-all of the decisions!

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  12. Maybe you could ask if you could order the trampoline attachment — just to drive home the point.

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  13. If it’s possible to be turned on by a range then I am :)

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  14. Way to rebel – I’d do the same thing! Is that a photo of the range you’re getting? I have serious range envy! (Ours is circa 1995 in almond…but it matches all the other appliances. Irony is that I’m still paying the no-interest credit for the new appliances that we got in our last house…two months before we sold it :) )

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  15. I sometimes overanalyze big purchases like this. By the time I’m done with my research, I’m more confused than I would have been walking in the store blind.

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    • my husband is big on the research. i’m an easy sell. i walk in, i like something, the sales person says good things, i buy. easy! somehow, this kitchen thing are such big purchases and they feel so permanent. we’ll get there.. one appliance at a time. ;)

      Reply
  16. Well, the good news is . . . if your back DOES go out, I’m sure your mom can find you a pillow for that! ;)

    Love the range. I have always wanted a double wall oven, though, but I appreciate a good range nonetheless.

    Reply
  17. We want to stay in our house as long as possible as we get older & so we do have forward-thinking decisions on our plate with our own remodel. In fact, we bought a house without stairs and other things that will age well as we age. I would congratulate the sales person on good advice, although maybe she needed a bit more tact. I mean, if you are just in your 40s…it’s a bit premature. Maybe a good question might be “how long do you expect to keep this and stay in your house?” Even though I am a very active 62, I would like my house to be appropriate if and when my body really deteriorates! Because if I live long enough, it will.

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  18. Of course you had me at appliances! Lol! Too funny, thanks for a great laugh!

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  19. Oh, the smugness of the young… I might possibly have choked that sales person. But I do love that range, and hope one day to remodel my 70s kitchen!

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    • thanks. and someday when i get through the permits and the crap, I may actually have it in my kitchen. but by then, i won’t be able to bend anymore, so i’ll just need the wall oven. :)

      Reply

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