We had 25 minutes to meet my husband and oldest son at his baseball game, which was only seven minutes away, when I passed my favorite yogurt store and made an impromptu decision – fantasized about for the entire day – to stop and get myself a cup.
“Nooooooo!” my two younger boys groaned from the backseat. “No stopping!”
I shot them my mean mom stare. “I don’t want to hear that. I do everything for you guys. You can eat ice cream for me. Sheesh.”
They just rolled their eyes, and shook their heads at my pathetic desperation. Who were these judgmental ice cream haters?
“It’ll just be a quick pit-stop.” I say, overly cheerful. The nearness to my fix makes me a little wild-eyed and fidgety.
We park in the closest spot, and within minutes, I am ordering myself a peanut butter and cappuccino covered in chocolate crunchies. Neither my five or eight year-old want anything. Really?
We’re back in the car lickety-split. “See, I told you guys. Perfect timing!”
I put the car in gear and go… straight over something. Oops. What was that? A curb? A small divider? Eh. Whatever. I’ll just keep going.
I hit the gas. The front of the car dips down over the curb? Bump? Divider? We stop. I try to go forward, but there is an ominous scratching sound. Uh oh.
“What’s that noise, mommy?” My eight year-old asks.
“Uh, nothing.” I hit the gas again. The screeching noise returns and the car won’t budge. I put it in reverse. Won’t budge. This could be bad.
“Are we stuck?” the backseat interrogator asks.
Out the window, people walking past stare at us with their mouths hanging open in horrified amazement, or possibly amusement. A car goes by and the driver stares directly at me. I can read the slow motion words on his lips. “Oh Shiiiiit.”
There was nothing left to do, but get out and see the damage.
Oh shit.
By now, a crowd had gathered to gawk and giggle at the dumb mom who can’t drive, and her amazing unmovable vehicle. Can’t go forward. Can’t go backward. Hear it wail in agony. Or, that might just be me.
I needed to call AAA, but first I needed to call…. my husband. Da Da Dummmm!
I was afraid, first because the car had recently been fixed from the bump in the night a few months back. Second, because last week, I did something similar over a rock.
Impressive, right?
My son’s game was minutes from starting.
“Hey, where are you?” My husband answers, all business.
“I had a little accident.”
From the backseat peanut gallery, “Mommy ran over a parking lot!”
“I did not run over a parking lot!” I huff.
Long exhale from my husband. “Is everyone okay?”
“Everyone is fine. Not sure about the car, though.”
“Okay, just call AAA. Don’t worry.” Don’t worry? He must have been surrounded by parents and children. Hope they all come home with him.
I look over to my yogurt; the crunchies perfectly melted into the sweet creamy goodness. If I wouldn’t have stopped, we would be at my son’s game right now, and my sons wouldn’t be chanting from the backseat, “Mommy can’t drive! Mommy can’t drive!”
I leisurely reached for the cup. Wasn’t like we were going anywhere.
My hero!
Freed!
Icescreammama 
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry, but this was sad and hilarious at the same time.
are you saying, i can’t drive you anywhere?
Absolutely not! Unlike your demented children, you can strand me at a frozen treats facility anytime!
i know!! what’s wrong with kids today!!
My kid often eschews ice cream — what’s wrong with kids today?
Hope your car gets better!
seriously, i know!! and the car, actually seems fine..
I think yogurt is worth it.
obviously i just need to build in more time for my stupidity.
You had me in stitches with this one!!!!! I love that the boys said you ran over a parking lot, that’s something my kids would say! Glad you are all safe and sound! And, of course the yogurt was worth it!!! 🙂
totally worth it!
Oh, my, I laughed really hard, I think I pulled something. 🙂
haha! i’m glad! i mean, not that you pulled something, but that you laughed. 🙂
Yep, definitely laughed. I think I can remember that far back tonight. Have a similar van. Also stop for ice cream, but my boys always get something. 🙂
something must be wrong with my children!! and my van – it has such a low carriage, it’s almost not my fault. almost…
Hey, you couldn’t even see the median! Plus think about all the laughter you’ll get out of this event for the rest of your life. You did your husband a favor!
Talk about an ice cream induced stupor! Such sweet goodness causes many women to lose their inhibitions. On a side note, I think your car has nine lives! 🙂
I’m sorry that your car & kids paid the price for your devotion to frozen yogurt, but I don’t blame you one bit!
i’m addicted. i’m already planning on stopping again next game! haha
Totally. Worth. It. I LOVE ice cream. I loved the story and the accompanying photos! 🙂
thanks!! i don’t want to say it was worth it, because that wouldn’t be quite right, but…. 😉
You thoroughly entertain me with every blog. 🙂
i totally appreciate that!!
OMG I thought I was the only one who had done this…Mine wasn’t for any good reason other than wanting to get the hell away from where I was…fat lot o good that did me!
apparently not. 🙂
I rarely laugh out loud at blog posts, especially when in charge of sleeping children whom I fear waking. This post had me guffawing like there’s no tomorrow. Two-thumbs-up for making me laugh!! Mental note for voting on Yeah Write.;)
thanks!! i totally appreciate that.
Oh NO!!! I’m perpetually throwing myself into these situations, though I’ve not had to be rescued in someyears (KNOCK WOOD LOUDLY!!)
wow – this was great! I’ve run into parking lot “bumpers” before, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I do what you did! So glad you had your ice cream! Hilarious and thank God for AAA!
I recently had to deal with a screaming son who would NOT give up his waffle cone that we were sharing. I guess I need to buy everyone their own ice cream from now on.
ha! i am a firm believer in i eat mine, and then if i’m lucky, i finish yours. 😉
hahaha oh this was funny! I laughed out loud (sorry! :P).
thanks. what i’ll do for a laugh. 🙂
Oops! That’s too funny though!
i can always count on my stupidity. 😉
you have to learn to bribe the back seat, at least did you eat the ice cream. love
On Tue, Jun 25, 2013 at 7:31 PM, Icescreammama
Ahhh man, if my boyfriend read this, he would have a million woman driver jokes for you 🙂
ha! i’ve got to take it. it was not my best moment.
I’m not going to laugh because that is something that I totally would have done!
might as well, i did… after i cried of course. 😉
The other day I totally had a curb mishap and then almost rear-ended someone in my haste and excitement to get a cherry Slupree from 7-11. For the best snacks, you just do what you have to do.
it’s true… nothing comes between me and my ice cream!!
Oh dear. I think I’d have facepalmed if I did that…. The lengths you’ll go to for blog material 😉 very funny though….
oh what i do for my blog! and ice cream. 😉
Haaa-larious!! That picture of your car straddling the cement divider almost made me wet my pants. As a person who routinely backs into my own garbage can, all I can say is, I feel your pain.
I’ve done that! But it was down the side. Drivers side wheels on the ground and passenger wheels spinning freely. Stupid. My dad was able to rescue me. Rather humiliating.
yup, humiliating is the right word. 😉
The love of ice cream has made me do some strange things, but bottoming out my car hasn’t been one of them (so far). I will definitely pay more heed to parking lots from now on 🙂
haha!! minivans have really low bottoms!! i think another car might have gone right over..
I love that, not only did you blog about this, you took pictures.
oh yeah! i’ve got a ton more. once it’s done, it’s done. no use getting crazy over it.
I am very fortunate that all of my idiot driving issues have happened when I was solo or with children too young to know that mommy just nailed a parking meter…
oh, my idiocy is on full display. no hiding for me. a parking meter? nice!
Aw, jeez! Whose kids are those you’re driving around who don’t want ice cream? Glad you didn’t spill a drop of your much-deserved treat. And who put that curb there anyway – arggh!
Funny, I like that you wanted your husband to bring the other parents and kids home so that he would stay calm.
i actually made it to the game.. and got abused by all the other parents.. so he took it easy on me. 😉
dying. 🙂 I particularly love that you took a photo of your little accident. 🙂
by that point, i was having fun. there was nothing to do but wait and plan a blog post! haha
That was a riot! I did something like that once. I got stuck in one of those car wash places at a gas station. I didn’t drive in straight and my car got stuck in the parallel line things. At least you got to eat your ice cream 🙂
ha!! that’s funny. sometimes i guess i’m a little, ahem, distracted. the ice cream was delish!! went back today, and had a flashback when i saw the spot!
Too funny, sorry about your car.
Kids turning down frozen yogurt? Can’t relate. But I can to the rest of it–I ran into my garage one time backing out, damaging both my car and my garage. My husband shook his head with disbelief.
As long as the Ice Cream was good…Lol run over a parking lot. Kids say the funniest thing
they are the best, except when they are abusing me! 😉
I am so sad for the melted yogurt. That, to me, is the most tragic part of this tale.
haha! but no, the crunchies were melted into the ice cream perfectly. i leisurely enjoyed. and actually made it to the game only a 1/2 hour late.
Peanut butter and cappuccino covered in chocolate crunchies certainly sounds worth it to me! Too funny when it’s happening to someone else! 🙂
oh, it is. i stopped there yesterday – but stayed far away from that spot!
Hilarious! I’m sitting here in Starbucks, laughing out loud at the “mom, ran over a parking lot” comment. Btw, I can’t believe your kids didn’t want ice cream!
I love it! thank you!! at least my stupidity is good for something. and yeah, there’s something wrong with them!
There is something seriously wrong with your children. You might want to get them checked. They didn’t want ice cream? Bizarre.
Totally valid reason to stop. And really, that could have happened to ANYONE. (Well, not really, but did you feel better there for a minute? Good!).
omg – i totally did feel better!! thank you!! 🙂
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I laughed until I cried when I read this. THANK YOU! Hey – last winter, I pulled into my garage (with my brand new 3-day old car) and heard this awful crunching sound. That awful crunching sound was the side of my car scraping against the concrete wall.
When I arrived at the auto body shop, the receptionist asked me how many miles were on the car. I said, “60.” She said, “60,000?” and I replied, “No. Just 60. I got the car 3 days ago.” and she laughed and laughed.
haha!! omg – that’s terrible! i guess we all have our moments. i know that awful crunch well! so funny.
Oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH, I laughed SO hard at this!! I haven’t done EXACTLY that, but I have done SIMILAR things. Embarrassing things…
Thanks! I think it’s because we’ve all done stuff like this… right? right? 😉
That was hilarious. I loved the bit where you said you wanted your husband to bring home the people around him. Sounds like something I’d do… but I probably would have asked for Tiramisu icecream.
ohhh tiramisu ice cream, that sounds delish!
I only laugh because I would *never* do anything like this! *wink* Just don’t ask my husband, or my brother, or…. LOL Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop!!!
thank you!! and i never would do this either. it was a uh, friend. 😉
This made me LOL! new follower from the Humor Me Blog Hop! ❤
thank you!! so appreciate that. hope i can do it again!
Oh no!!! For some reason this reminds me of the time we were on vacation with my mom but not my dad and she drove the side of the van into one of those metals poles in the cement that prevent cars from hitting the gas pumps at gas stations. I don’t think she was looking forward to that phone call to Dad, either. Driving is hard. I only do it when absolutely necessary.
ha!! that’s so funny. i guess it’s all funny… afterwards!!
Ha ha ha! You know, the way your mini-van was positioned, you could have used it as a teeter-totter.
that’s exactly how it was!!
I am so shocked this has never happened to me! I was laughing and cringing all at the same time at this! Thank you for sharing your pain with the Humor Me Blog hoppers!
thank you! and don’t jinx yourself… it could still happen. 😉
“Mommy ran over a parking lot!”
I chortled. Nice! My youngest brother did the same thing to a huge landscaping boulder so don’t feel too bad.
hmmm… but how young exactly was he. you’re not going to say 12 or something, right?
Oh, no. Mid-20’s.
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