The windows are rolled down, the day is gorgeous and the wind is dancing in my hair, which just so happens to be fabulously clean. I’m working the stylish shades, flashing the Colgate smile and pretending to all I pass that I am just another young sexy thing in my young sexy car. Good thing I’m going at least 30mph. I couldn’t pull this off without the blur factor.
I’m not bold enough to roll back the soft top to drive at optimal coolness. Well, actually I’d have to take off the doors if we’re really talking optimal. But no matter, I am satisfied just being in this midlife crisis mobile and feeling like a rock star.
I shied away from driving it for the last couple of weeks because, I don’t know, it was so high off the ground and I had gotten used to the feel of a car, even if that car is a minivan. Plus it was all new and shiny, and I’m one of those old and dull people who kind of fall in love with comfortable.
It certainly would explain my closet where the only time I get new things is when my mother brings them over. I’m content in my well-worn wear. It’s so easy just picking up yesterday’s outfit off the floor or grabbing a new set of old gym clothes. Don’t judge.
But today I felt a little pressure to step it for the new car, so I was wearing my better old clothes with my newly washed hair and got a string of compliments. Really, have I set the bar so low that all it takes is washing my hair for people to notice? Well, there’s something to be said for that.
Still… Soft, creamy fabric, the clip clap of strappy shoes, the hot new car – it all makes me want to twirl and dance and smile for the cameras. It’s true that feeling pretty feels pretty fabulous. I guess I forget that sometimes since I’m usually feeling pretty tired or pretty lazy or pretty who gives a shit.
The only reason I’m driving the car today is because of an unfortunate altercation between me, my minivan and a stupid tree, that apparently showed up unexpectedly while I was backing up. And of course on this one day, my car’s rear sensors which always beep when things unexpectedly show up behind me weren’t on. But I’m not here to make excuses, well, except those already noted.
The aftermath was a broken rear taillight and a few minor dents and scratches. Nothing compared to some of the driving malfunctions I have inflicted on my poor mom machine. Like when I drove over the divider and got stuck. That was hysterical. Or when I crashed into a boulder right after it was fixed. Good times. So, really this was nothing. Except that without my passenger side brake light and blinker working, it was no longer drivable.
For the time being, I will have to drive the new car. Which means, until further notice, I’ll be sporting clean hair and might need to go shopping. I’ll also need to be extremely conscious of surprise agriculture and such.
I already miss the minivan.
I fully blame the tree. Recently, I backed up and our stupid basketball hoop suddenly lurched forward and into my rear bumper. Of course, my husband was standing in the yard at the time and did nothing to stop it. Thankfully I drive like an old lady and was going so slow nothing was damaged except my pride.
right?? they really should issue some kind of alert hoops falling or trees jumping. ridiculous. and what kind of lazy ass is your husband just watching the whole thing go down. i swear. do we have to be in charge of everything?
I know, he absolutely loved every second of my b-ball hoop catastrophe. The best was when I stopped the car and watched as the hoop slowly sway back and forth. At least I didn’t knock it completely over on top of the car.
Ha! and all my husband said was, ‘you’re lucky you were driving the minivan’
That tree looks pretty dug in. You sure it just appeared out of nowhere?
Totally!! Hmmm… you sound like my husband.
that’s what he said!! Pftthhhhh! 😉
This little thread has me cracking up! Beautiful piece though.
haha! thank you! 🙂
And I’m not reading everything I can while I ignore my kids so I’m about to blow up your notifications. Just letting you know.
i’m busy ignoring my kids right now too. 🙂 they are jumping on the couch. i need to put them to bed before someone starts crying.
yeah that little typo changed the whole meaning. I’m NOW reading everything. Now not not.
It’s totally the tree’s fault. That’s what I told myself about my unfortunate altercation with a big black truck in the parking lot of Dunkin Donuts a couple of weeks ago. Note that said truck was parked and not at all moving during said altercation, while I was backing up in my rush to get to work. Note also that the Honda rear camera is not 100% reliable. Learned the hard way.
Exactly!! And you were probably overcome by the savory smell of coffee. Totally not your fault!
Stupid tree. Enjoy the hot new car!
ha! thanks. although i’m lucky i’m allowed to drive it at the moment. 😉
We’re so reliant on technology! Glad it wasn’t bad accident.
hahhaha it’s always the tree’s fault….or that column in the parking lot !!!! i envy you the hot ride ! enjoy
The worst was when my husband and I crashed into each other while jockeying our cars to change their order in our one lane driveway. There was a lot of eye rolling (by our then toddler), but no one called anyone “stupid” because that applied to us both. Ever since I semi-retired from full time lawyering, my wardrobe has been reduced to something that sounds very similar to yours. Panty house is seriously over-rated, IMHO.
Photo with the top off, please!
Um, the car of course… 😉
I do!! On FB! https://www.facebook.com/Icescreammama
Sigh…we went looking for minivans this weekend. Looks like a Toyota Sienna is in my future.
we have an odyssey. i really don’t mind it, or at least, i didn’t till i got behind the wheel of the hot car. still, you’ll work it! it’s all good. 🙂
Stupid tree! I hate when that happens!
right?! why aren’t there any signs up?!!
As someone who regularly drives over the curb, I salute you.
bwahahahaha. my fav line: “But no matter, I am satisfied just being in this midlife crisis mobile and feeling like a rock star.”
its all good. i have set the bar pretty low too. i wear the same color uniform everyday, and a 4 yr old asked me if i ever do laundry. LOL! so at least you’re rockin in the shades and strappy sandals!
thanks for giving me a laugh at the end of a tough day.
thank you. my minivan has been fixed and i have happily been demoted to the uncool car, so i’m back with yesterday’s clothes. 🙂
Totally the tree’s fault. It always is! This time, maybe just thank the tree for the hot new car and you new avatar, move on, go get them heads turn 😉 haha!
The “better old clothes.” Oh yes. I get that. Enjoy that new car!
Your husband is letting you drive his new baby?? Wow, that must be love! And I am much happier in my old clothes as well. They frown upon wearing sweats to court, though. 😉
I’m enjoying this new car mini-series.
Ha! I guess I can’t relate – my car is ooooold and requires no dressing up.
“Don’t judge.” Oh trust me, I wasn’t. I was just nodding my head, glad to not be the only mom who looks to the floor for my daily outfit. 🙂
ha! that’s where the best clothes are!
It’s good to get your groove back every once in a while! Enjoy it while it lasts, and take it easy on those pesky agricultural obstacles.
What? I always slip out of bed and put on yesterday’s work out clothes. Nothing wrong with that!
Re-wearing old clothes for consecutive days shrinks your carbon foot print. That’s what I tell my husband. He can’t argue with that. It’s amazing how “green” middle age has made me.
What’s that reckless tree driving these days?
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Those backup beeps make me psychotic. They beep when there is nothing there, and then DON’T beep when a tree — or in my case a concrete pillar — jumps behind you.
there’s this weird trend of jumping inanimate objects! i think that and the malfunctioning beeps are all a conspiracy to make us look bad!