I’m sure the whole neighborhood is talking about me. I mean, I would be talking about me, if I saw me, standing out there in the middle of the street shouting down cars like a crazy lady. But I have a perfectly legitimate reason for my behavior.
People can’t drive.
I know that’s rich coming from the girl who recently got her car stranded on top of a divider, but it’s not really that they can’t drive, more that they’re entitled, careless drivers. They speed down residential streets where children pounce like puppies. They don’t even pretend that the glaring red octagon of civil law means anything. I’m not even talking about a slow, look both ways roll-thru, I’m talking blowing it, full on.
Unless they are all illiterate pregnant women about to give birth, this is a problem for me.
On any given day, anywhere between three and eight children populate my front lawn. They play running bases. They play soccer. They have baseball catches, frisbee throws, water balloon fights.
I stand on my lawn surrounded by the wild children and in between handing out ice pops or chatting with a friend, loudly scream at offending vehicles, “Slow down!” Or, “Are you kidding me??”
Sometimes, I aggressively stand in the street, forcing them to slow down. On one occasion, I snapped a picture of a license plate. On more than one occasion, I was embarrassed to discover it was a neighbor I was shouting at. But then, I wasn’t embarrassed, because I have children to protect. Okay, I was still embarrassed.
Still, thank goodness, no one had ever confronted me, until today. As I was unloading groceries, a black car pulled up next to me, and a woman I didn’t know, called out and said, “I’ve been waiting to catch you for months now.”
Uh oh.
“Yeah, you yelled at me to slow down.”
Shit. “Really? Uh, I’m sorr-”
“I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you were right.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”
Then she drove away at a very responsible speed.
Well, hot damn. Validation. Someone actually listened.
So while my kids are out there chasing balls, you’ll find me out there with them, chasing cars.
A mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do.
Icescreammama 
Wow!!!!! You are super mom!!! Love it!!! I have often felt that way myself, especially when I’m in my front yard, watching my kids play and seeing cars take my corner like they are driving in the Indie 500. I may take a page from your book!
You keep at it girl!!! Litchfield Road has its own crazy mom screaming at cars.
Sent from my iPad
I Love this! Can’t tell you how many times a car has gone thru the stop sign in front of my driveway and almost run me and the dogs over. I chase after them too.
you get them mama, (maybe your brother-in-law is not always wrong,he always said that people dont always stop or slow down at stop signs.
Ha! You and Paul should hang out. He and Noah regularly hang out at Hillside and Central to count speeding cars through the stop sign. They even video tape the cars and then call the police. On many occasions he’s called the cops and told them that if they are short on budget, they should park at Hillside and they’d make a whole lot of cash writing speeding tickets and “blowing stop sign” tickets. You go!!!!
Oh, you’re THAT lady in the neighborhood! Lol.
wait.. aren’t you supposed to be handing out tickets or something?
Go get ’em icescreammama!
I totally do that!! Kids play outside, especially in the summer. 2 of my kids tend to dart and that is dangerous. Keep up the good work!
thank you – maybe this is a new business – crazy lady for hire – making your streets safe!
Wow, how often does someone actually apologize and say they were wrong! Almost never!
i know!!
Love this! It reminds me of an episode of Modern Family!
thanks! that is an amazing show filled with crazy people. i’m honored. 🙂
🙂 The characters are so entertaining, and I can relate to Claire big time!
That is what I call VINDICATION!!!
after i got over the fact that she didn’t yell at me – it did feel good.
You are my hero! The post office should memorialize you and this moment on a stamp! And a coin! Keep up the great work, mama!
a stamp and coin? nice. why stop there, i think they should just put my face on stop signs! maybe we could have talking ones if people roll thru, so i could yell – HEY! I SEE YOU! haha
I can’t even deal with how people drive. You’re not crazy. You are right.
ahh validation!
Can you ask that the city put in a speed bump on the street? You can’t ignore and blow through a speed bump.
If the city won’t put one in . . . mix up a batch of cement and dump it in the street one night 🙂
I always get so mad when cars come flying down my street. I never thought much about it before I moved to t he suburbs, but now that I live on a street where kids are playing all the time, I want to run after those drivers like a crazy lady too.
it’s instinct. and now that i got over my initial embarrassment, i’m unstoppable.