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Stop driving me crazy!

I’m sure the whole neighborhood is talking about me. I mean, I would be talking about me, if I saw me, standing out there in the middle of the street shouting down cars like a crazy lady. But I have a perfectly legitimate reason for my behavior.

People can’t drive.

I know that’s rich coming from the girl who recently got her car stranded on top of a divider, but it’s not really that they can’t drive, more that they’re entitled, careless drivers.  They speed down residential streets where children pounce like puppies. They don’t even pretend that the glaring red octagon of civil law means anything. I’m not even talking about a slow, look both ways roll-thru, I’m talking blowing it, full on.

Unless they are all illiterate pregnant women about to give birth, this is a problem for me.

On any given day, anywhere between three and eight children populate my front lawn. They play running bases. They play soccer. They have baseball catches, frisbee throws, water balloon fights.

I stand on my lawn surrounded by the wild children and in between handing out ice pops or chatting with a friend, loudly scream at offending vehicles, “Slow down!” Or, “Are you kidding me??”

Sometimes, I aggressively stand in the street, forcing them to slow down. On one occasion, I snapped a picture of a license plate.  On more than one occasion, I was embarrassed to discover it was a neighbor I was shouting at. But then, I wasn’t embarrassed, because I have children to protect. Okay, I was still embarrassed.

Still, thank goodness, no one had ever confronted me, until today. As I was unloading groceries, a black car pulled up next to me, and a woman I didn’t know, called out and said, “I’ve been waiting to catch you for months now.”

Uh oh.

“Yeah, you yelled at me to slow down.”

Shit. “Really? Uh, I’m sorr-”

“I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you were right.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

Then she drove away at a very responsible speed.

Well, hot damn. Validation. Someone actually listened.

So while my kids are out there chasing balls, you’ll find me out there with them, chasing cars.

A mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do.

running stop sign