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If you ask me, brushing your teeth is a gift. My kids prefer money.

It hit me today at the dentist while all three boys were in various states of dental distress. My oldest was being cleaned, my middle x-rayed, and my youngest was getting the check-up. They all wore the cool shades that the office provides to shield them from the overhead light, and they all were brain deep into an episode of Scooby Doo playing on the strategically positioned TV. Yet, even with the lollypop flavored toothpaste – hello, irony – when all was said and done, we agreed, going to the dentist just sucks.

It inspired me to probe further to find out other things they hated. And while what I uncovered didn’t exactly surprise me, I was somewhat amazed when I realized that the stuff my kids hate to do is basically the stuff I consider among my favorite things.

They hate…

1. Brushing teeth. Straight from the dentist, it was no surprise this made the list. But, oh contaire dirty mouth little ones, brushing your teeth is not a chore. It’s a pleasure. I am so grateful for the invention of toothpaste. I never understood how anyone could forget to brush their teeth. I mean, don’t they smell themselves in the morning?

If Woody would have brushed his teeth, this never would have happened.

If Woody would have brushed his teeth, this never would have happened.

2. Showering. Every night, okay not every night, but most nights, my kids shower or bathe. You would think I was leading them to the torture chamber. They fight who goes first. They cry to put it off. And washing hair? Somewhere in between a major inconvenience and major tantrum.  I don’t get it. I mean, I’d never leave the shower if they didn’t come banging on the door because they were hungry, or tired of throwing things at each other.

Come on, bathing! It's swimming with soap!

Come on, bathing! It’s like swimming with soap!

3. Reading. What kind of cretins am I raising? I mean, yes, once I get them into a book or am reading a book to them, they’re generally engaged. But oh, the drama to get them there. You’d think my saying, shut the games and pick a book was like sentencing them to hard labor. Come on, babies, for the love of imagination and exploration and escapism, read, read, read!!

4. Sleeping. “Can we stay up soooo late?” is a frequent request while I’m droopy eyed and cranky longing for my snuggly bed. “We’re not tired!” They chant. And I think, are you f’n kidding me? You’re up at the crack of dawn, racing like ferrets on crack. Can’t they see that the later they stay up, the meaner I get? Also, we paid a lot for those Pottery Barn beds, get in them!

5. Veggies. Apparently, if it’s green it’s gross. Except for those Lucky Charm marshmallows. Anything in a Lucky Charm box is golden. Uh, not that I buy that crap. They must have eaten it at a friend’s house. For me, green is 50% of my diet. I love salads, broccoli, spinach, snow peas, sugar snap peas. You get the idea. Yeah, I’m not telling you the other 50%.

What? It's pistachio!

What? It’s pistachio!

Looking back, I see that all five of these dividers are basics of everyday life. The only real differentiating factor between my kids and I is age. So while they might say I’m old, uptight and boring. I say, they’re young, naive and clueless.

We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

31-dbbb It’s only day 2 of the 31 days to a better blog challenge. The challenge? Write a list. I don’t think I can keep this up.