“So we’re going to grandma and grandpa’s bungalow…” My 6 year old repeated back to my nodding face. “But you and daddy are going somewhere else?”
He looked at me somewhat uncomprehending. It’s not his fault. This would be the first time we left our three boys to take a couple of days to ourselves. Of course it should have happened years ago but for one clingy reason or another, it just didn’t.
But now that we were, we weren’t just dropping them at their boring old house. We were leaving them at the bungalow colony where they spend their summers, a virtual kid haven when my husband and I were growing up, which of course is now a literal senior haven. Still, there were random kids about, long green lawns, a pool, frogs and salamanders… what else do 12, 9 and 6 year old boys need?
Their mommy, I thought guiltily.
“Yes,” I confirmed enthusiastically to his soft brown eyes and sweet chubby cheeks. “Daddy and I are going to have a little vacation and so are you and your brothers.”
He didn’t look thrilled.
Even at 6, my youngest is still the baby. He isn’t quite ready to do playdates outside of our house. He doesn’t like to go places if I’m not going, even with Daddy and his brothers. He hugs me vigorously when I leave to go to the supermarket or out to dinner. He has made some major progress towards independence this past year – Hello Kindergarten and camp! – but it’s slow going.
“It’ll be fun!” I cheered which only made him scowl at me skeptically.
When we walked into the bungalow to drop their bags and our kids, grandma was ready. “Who wants eggs and pancakes?” She asked excitedly as the boys settled in.
We left them there, among many hugs and with devices that could communicate with us with the touch of their fingers.
My older boys were good, only my youngest sat on the fence, looking at me like I’d left him in a basket with a note pinned to his blanket.
It hurt and I worried. Of course, he would be fine with his grandparents and his brothers, but he was sad, which made me sad.
Still I walked out and he let me go which was a huge step in itself. I was intent on blocking out that little face and having fun with just my husband, if we could even remember how to do that.
It turned out letting go was easier than I thought.
The minute we were off, my brain was off them as well. I was excited for our time away; our two nights and a half day. We hiked, played tennis and row boated. We talked and ate and ate. It was good, really good. Of course we face-timed with the kids and they sent back pictures of themselves catching frogs.
We were all happy and we weren’t together.
We could all be happy and not be together? It was a novel concept.
When we returned to the bungalow, their beautiful faces momentarily lit with pleasure before tumbling over one another to excitedly detail their frog catching adventures. The past days of fabulous coupledom were already long gone and it was good to be back, but now that I had drunk the Kool Aid…
“So how was it?” I asked my youngest.
He shrugged in his shy way, “It was good.”
“You were okay?” I pressed. Now that we were together, somehow I was worried again.
“I was fine.” He said and I believed him, because surprisingly I was fine too.
Turns out, getting away was good for us all.
I’m already planing our next escape.
It always amazes me how fast I can go from my mom role back to just Kathy. Especially since I”m so connected to my kids. I’m so glad you and your husband got some time away!!
it was really good. and soo overdue!
Those boys are so adorable!
When my kids were young I had a terrible time leaving them, I always worried.
My husband and I took five of our grandkids from Phila. to Florida a few weeks ago. My youngest daughter was so worried about her eight-year- old because she is such a mommy’s girl.
She felt homesick one time for just a few minutes. It was a great trip for all of us.
that sounds wonderful. it’s so hard getting over the hurdle but when you do – if you allow yourself to let go – it’s great for all of you.
I think it is wonderful you had this opportunity, and it went so well for all of you. The anticipation of the separation is often much worse than the actual separation.
so true. can’t believe we waited so long!
You deserve the break!! Now how did you upload those images???
i don’t know. i had no problems. just uploaded as usual.. i have more trouble when i need to create a post/edit. it goes to this weird place. but i uploaded those shots a couple of days ago, so maybe it’s changed. afraid of the next post. annoying.
Good for you! Couples need time to themselves without the kids occasionally too.
so true!! it was really good. i’m not going to wait as long to do it again!
I looked forward to weekends away from my kids when they were growing up like they looked forward to Hanukkah and Christmas!
ha!! i’m learning so much this year!!
It’s so nice to read your updates all over again! It’s always a great idea to take breaks here and there whether from family or work. That keeps everything fresh! You all look very adorable and happy! Stay blessed 🙂
Naima!! Hello and how are you?!! Hope you had a wonderful time at University! Are you back? Hope you are well and happy!! So nice to see you. 🙂
I am good, thanks! I hope you and your family is doing great too 🙂
University is good but pretty tough lol Thank you for asking about me and yes, I am back 🙂
Nice to see you too 🙂
Sometimes I guess we just have to dive in and see what happens. I’m glad things worked out and you all had a great time!
It was great! Thank you. 🙂
Sounds like your little escape was just what the doctor ordered. Hooray!
It was perfect! Thank you. I can’t believe how long it took to do it!
Honestly, my refusal to make time for us and refusing to use babysitters was a big issue in my last marriage. It’s important to make time for the both of you.
i hear you and totally agree. somehow it doesn’t seem as important for awhile but then all of a sudden it’s everything.
It really is.
I went with my husband to a doctor’s appointment this morning after Philip got on the school bus. The car seemed very, very quiet without him.
ohhhh so sad. i get that too. but now my kids are all a little bigger and i’m ready for some me time. it’s wonderful to appreciate both! he’ll be home soon! 🙂
woohoo, you’ve inspired me. Now get in line 😉 xoxo
ha! you’re always first!
Love those pictures…Glad you took a little summer vacay. You totally deserve it 🙂
thank you. it was good. and no baseball!!
I remember leaving our girls and feeling like someone had taken a huge, heavy backpack for me. I felt guilty about that, but it sure did feel good. They’re grown and gone, but looking back I wish we had taken more time away. It would have been good for all of us.
it does help you appreciate it all more. it really was nice. i’m not going to wait another 12 years, that’s for sure! 🙂