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Finding patience when you lose it

Today I realized I’ve lost something very important.

My patience.

I didn’t see it when I called my kids three times into the kitchen for their lunch but no one came until I stomped into the living room, snapped the TV shut and glared around menacingly.

I didn’t find it in the basement under the mountain of toys, the video games tossed around like garbage and the lego pieces scattered all over the floor. It definitely wasn’t under the one I stepped on.

It was nowhere in sight when my husband told me our baseball schedule for the next week… Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, Monday and maybe but not definitely Wednesday.

Nor was it anywhere to be seen when my kids continuously tried to prolong staying up, even though at 11pm it was already past my bed time, by moving so slowly to wash up, then calling for drinks and snacks. I couldn’t even find it in the warm, extra hugs they tried to extract.

It certainly wasn’t under the table when I went to pick up the fork my son dropped and then banged my head.

Or in the sink under a pile of dishes.

I didn’t even bother looking for it by my father. No way I’d find it there.

Where o where was it?

For many years I gave everything, did everything and accepted everything. I had more of my patience but less of me, and it was all good. It was how it was supposed to be.

Now I feel a shift. I’m finding myself, making my needs and wants count. There will always be the household chores, moments of frustration, and times where you need more strength than others, but now that my kids are a bit older, all of a sudden I feel they’re supposed to get with the program, even though up until recently the program was I do everything.  It’s not their fault. These things take time. I’ve changed the channel on them, and I guess I no longer have tolerance for any other.

Still it’s coming. I see it when my children bring their dishes to the sink without reminder, automatically brush their teeth and get themselves dressed in the morning, make an effort to be nicer to each other, listen by only the second time I ask. And who wouldn’t smile when the kid covered in chocolate swears he ate none.

Of course there’s still…

“Mommy, I wanna build a set up with you!”

“Mommywatch me!Mommywatchme!Mommywatchme!”

“Where are my socks?”


“He won’t stop touching me!”

“Make him stop siiiiiingingggg!”

But we’re getting there…


Could my patience be hiding in here?

Could my patience be hiding in here?

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

20 responses »

  1. Oh dear. I have always been told by my mother that you find it in a deep breath 😛 Hope you day gets better.


    My patience is loooong gone

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Go easy on yourself. We all lose our patience from time to time. But, gah about getting the kids to do what you ask. My son is 21 and I still have to ask him to do things twice!

    • working on it!! sometimes i find it in the most unlikely places… like my son’s closet after asking him to clean his room and the entire contents fall out on my head when i open it. haha. all good.

      • I learned this from my mother when my brother’s room looked like Oscar Madison’s from “The Odd Couple” – I close the door. I know that isn’t a solution, but sometimes I have to pick my fights. Not good advice; just what I do.

        All good? I am sure you are!!!! Have a great day.

      • don’t look! i love it.

  4. You are singing my song! I have misplaced my patience and I”m not sure where it’s hiding. But if it’s where my cell phone that I lost five years ago is, I’m in real trouble!! Thanks for a great post!

  5. So incredibly true. Patience has gone out the window! Fantastic essay.

  6. I have missed reading your blog !! Hope you find your patience soon, I am sure it’s somewhere right there hiding 😀


  7. My living room looks like this often. I don’t find my patience there, either.

  8. Sent from my iPhone


  9. I sometimes have a hard time finding my patience, and I don’t even have kids to blame it on…I so get this.

  10. Hmmm. I wonder if my patience is hiding with your patience. If you find them together, can you please shoo mine back home? I have a feeling I won’t find it this weekend at our first fall baseball tournament an hour away, taking over the entire holiday weekend.

    • yes! will do! it is pretty sneaky that patience.. 😉
      hope you have fun at the tournament!! i know they can be annoying but they can also be exciting and fun. hope it goes well!! 🙂

  11. Fantastic. As always. Been there, sista.

  12. Pingback: Quick Tip: Dealing with Public Health and Mental Health Providers

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