I know a thing or two about being a Golf Widow. My mom, for example, is a seasoned pro, for many years, giving up countless weekends to the cause. With a house upstate that her husband frequents, she is regularly left to her own devices from Thursday thru Monday, April thru November. Yeah, it’s like that.
Of course, it has its advantages. My mom is an independent creature who loves her routine. She’s perfectly content with her alone time, but there are some weekends where I know she would enjoy a Saturday night date, or having a partner to grandparent with, or simply appreciate being placed above a small ball and a little hole.
Many years back, my husband was almost lured into the golfing cult by a persuasive friend named Big Big. My husband, not as big as Big Big, was simply referred to as Big. Weren’t they cute? So Big and Big Big would sneak off in the wee morning hours, sometimes driving well over an hour to get in a round.
As it turned out, they never truly got beyond the golf honeymoon stage. Children entered the picture and then Big Big and his little wife moved to wealthy suburbia where he commuted from NY to Toronto for his big job.
But I do understand Golf widowhood and at the time felt lucky to have avoided it, until I realized what was in store for me would be much more life altering and all-encompassing .
I am a Little League Baseball Widow.
I should have seen it coming. My husband was captain of his college baseball team, a lifelong baseball fan and now is the father of three littler leaguers, I mean, boys. All that pent up baseball energy, harnessed for all those years working in the real world, has finally been released in the form of a highly regarded, extremely vested, little league coach.
You don’t hear about LLBW’s often, maybe because technically we’re not always left alone. A LLBW is, by the circumstance of being Mom, drawn in to support and help. She’s in it, whether she wants to or not.
So I guess it’s more like being a Little League Baseball Sacrifice. Yeah, that’s exactly it.
Not sure you’re a Baseball Sacrifice? Let’s find out.
1. When your husband asks you for a cup, do immediately head to the underwear drawer?
2. Is your floor littered with all sorts of baseball paraphernalia – gloves, bats, balls, bags, cleats, etc? Kind of like this…?
Actual hallway
3. Does a night out with your husband somehow wind up near stores like “Dicks” or “Sports Authority”?
4. Does your husband’s nightly routine include watching baseball, while talking baseball, while checking stats/writing emails about baseball?
5. Do you spend more than 3 days a week driving to games or practices?
6. Is your house referred to as the one where the dad is always on the lawn throwing balls to his kids? Even at night. In winter. Or rain?
7. Do you have five or more of these items on your lawn – pitchbacks, hitting tees, bases, bucket of balls, swing corrector, bats, helmets?
8. Do you spend endless time sifting through laundry for the UnderArmor and uniforms that need to be hung dry?
9. Do you respond to every attempt for plans with, “I’ll have to check the baseball schedule.”
10. Can you get out of your house in under 10, with a cooler, distractions for your other kids, lawn chair and a fully uniformed player equipped with baseball bag, the right cleats and water bottle?
If you’ve answered yes to 3 or more, you may be a Baseball Sacrifice. If you answered yes to 5 or more, you probably are, and if you’re like me and answer yes to all of them, well, I wish I could tell you greener grass was ahead.
But it’s only AstroTurf .
Funny and clever. You are definitely in a league shared by many other moms!
I guess you like it or you would stand up for yourself… Or is this the first step of doing that? Stepping up? I’ll come over and back you up… I’m with you! Not going to happen in my house. .. At least, it will not be driven by me. ..
i don’t know. i’m very torn. i love watching them play, i just don’t like the crazy that goes with it. my life is follow the bouncing balls!!
Lol. We aren’t there yet, but are getting there–with soccer. How many soccer balls does one family need, I ask you??
Is your house referred to as the one where the dad is always on the lawn throwing balls to his kids? Even at night. In winter. Or rain?
Love that one!
thats why you have such great kids and husband, because you are so great and supportive of it all. You really are the MVP of the family love ya
On Thu, Jul 11, 2013 at 7:37 AM, Icescreammama
I wish my husband would play more golf..he loves it and never does stuff for himself. BUt t would suck so bad if he was always gone. Love the Big and BIG BIG names!
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I enjoyed the entire post, but heading for the underwear drawer when hubby asks for a cup is priceless!
thanks! i see everything in terms of baseball these days!
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We live on a golf course so my hubby plays but no baseball here. You’re a funny gal.
ha! thanks. right back atcha!! 🙂
I’m sooo lucky that my kids are not sports kids!!! Water kids, yes, but sports kids, no. I’m sorry – wish I could help you there my dear.
ha! there’s no help for me!
What in god’s name is a pitchback? I grew up with 2 sisters and only girl cousins, so if I have a boy, I’m totally screwed.
haha! it’s like a tight net where the boys throw the ball and practice catching or pitching. 🙂 don’t worry. you’ve got time for that.
Substitute baseball with hockey and that was my household for many years. It got so bad, I decided that if I couldn’t beat ’em, I’d join ’em. I’m no longer a hockey mom but actually a hockey-playing mom.
love that!!! my friend did that as well!!
LOL! #1 is my favorite.
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While I can’t personally relate, this post struck a chord with several of my Facebook friends.
Hmm, can’t think of a baseball metaphor for this . . .
Wait-some of my FB friends think you hit this one out of the park!
thank you! i love that!! and it’s the perfect metaphor!! so much better than striking out! 🙂
So clever! I’m not a baseball sacrifice but I am a basketball sacrifice if there is such a thing. Then there’s Notre Dame football season and all bets are off on other plans. Love the Big Big nickname – think I’ll borrow it for my husband and see if that takes his mind off sports? 😉 Great post!
ha!! you give that a go! Hoops there it is! wait.. it is hoops, right? Or is it, whoops? whatever. Hoops works better for my purposes. 😉
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This is TOTALLY my house. In fact, I’m alone RIGHT NOW (well, with my 9yo and 9 week old puppy and two year old dog) b/c my husband took the 16yo to a baseball tournament. And this is happening for the next THREE weekends in a row. i get it…But I love baseball. If I could leave the babies and go, I would!
ha!! my entire summer is baseball!! i’ve got two in leagues now and come september my youngest will get with the program. i actually don’t love baseball, but i do love watching them play. it’s can be an anxiety attack and the most beautiful thing i’ve even seen wrapped in one game.
Thanks to seeing friends with older children, two sports are now off the list (in addition to football): BASEBALL and HOCKEY.
Now, I was a swimmer in high school. I know about 5 am practices and 8:30 pm practices because of when the pool was available. I know! But the commitment that is traveling all over kingdom come for this stuff is not for me. Nope. No how, no way.
hockey was always off my list. i have hockey family friends and they are ca ra zee! baseball when you get into is bad, but not as bad as hockey. really, any sport you commit to kind of sucks. lacrosse, basketball… it’s all the same. and uh, 5am practices? yeah, swimming is so off the list!
That looks like a LOT of work, my friend! But… you seem to be taking it all in stride and with good humor, as always. 🙂
i love watching them play, but i could do without the laundry and all the other crap. haha
I loved watching my kid play but Im with you about all the other hooha that goes with it…
yes, watching boys fabulous but too much hooha! 😉
Hmmmm…coaching, eh? I’ll have to look into this. Fiancee won’t be happy.
ha!! it’s my husband’s joy. he loves it!
I like your humor
ha! i like your taste. 🙂
This post cracked me up! I especially love the golf stuff. “She’s perfectly content with her alone time, but there are some weekends where I know she would enjoy a Saturday night date, or having a partner to grandparent with, or simply appreciate being placed above a small ball and a little hole.” Hilarious!
thank you! what is it with boys and sports! i thought they couldn’t commit to things, but apparently it doesn’t apply to activities with balls. 😉
Hahaha! Cups in the underwear drawer… *snicker*
you don’t want to know what’s in their pajama drawers. haha
Oh man. I said yes to way too many of these. So, you’re telling me it DOESN’T get better? Say it ain’t so! O.o
it gets worse!! freaking travel and tournaments… argghhh!!! (the good parts are really good though 😉 )
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