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They Say “Nay” to the Pony

They Say “Nay” to the Pony

Unofficial scientific research alert – boys don’t like pony tails.

At least mine don’t. And I’ve got three of the younger set, uninhibited by societal constraints. Unlike my trained husband who might just shrug and say, “It’s fine” to avoid confrontation, the boys tell it as they see it – the truth, in all its naked, cellulite reality.

Like when Michael was five and met an older neighbor walking in the street.

“Wow, you’re 90!” He exclaimed and the lady’s face lit up.

“You’re almost dead!” He continued and she seemed to die right there.

Or, like last night while snuggling with little Julius at bedtime, he’s happily squeezing my stomach, plumping it into a nice pillow. “Mommy,” he says adoringly, “your belly is so squishy like your boobies. I just love them.”

Thank you Julius.

For creatures who don’t notice the clothes I place before them, or that I’ve been asking them to do the same thing for five minutes, they seem to see things others don’t.

“Mommy, why does your stomach fall down like that?”

“I can’t go in the kitchen, what you’re cooking stinks soooooo bad!”

“What’s that big red bump on your face?”

And my ponytail? Michael, my most articulate child, says it best, “Mommy, you don’t look as pretty like that.” Well, thanks for sugar coating it, honey.

I’ve supported the pony look back in many incarnations; the banana clip, the scunci and scrunchies, the hair clips and clappers -anything to pull back my hair. I have even resorted to using those ridiculous ‘silly bands’ when desperate. (At least they’re good for something.)

I think of it as the hairstyle for the aesthetically lazy and/or overwhelmed, both me. I mean who knows what would happen if I just let my hair run wild at the supermarket? I might just pick up regular milk instead of low fat, organic or fricken Oreos instead of Annie’s Bunny Crackers.

Although the boys don’t like the style, I still wear it daily. Generally no one notices, but that’s only because I’ve realized that no one really notices me at all, but when they do, they don’t like it. 100% of the time.

Yesterday, Julius put a necklace he made at camp around my neck, then stepped back to survey his work. His expression read like an unsatisfied artist scrutinizing a canvass. “Take your hair out,” he ordered and I complied. He mussed with it a bit, and then smiled before finally nodding in approval. “Much Better.”

Whenever Tyler looks up from his haze enough to notice that I’m wearing one, he’ll wrinkle his nose and point. “I don’t like those.” When I go in to snuggle before bed, he’s apt to pull the band from my hair. “Better.” He’ll sigh.

I don’t know why, but I decided to stand in front of the mirror and I really study the look. I mean three boys were out and out saying they didn’t like it, I should it take under consideration.

Look A with hair down – I’m young and carefree, pretty and relaxed. I smile.

Look B with hair back – I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. Hurry up, I’m saying. This is serious. Chop chop! I’m a librarian, a school teacher, an ugly mom. Ew!

I flung the band from my head. They’re right. How could I not have seen this before? I blew the curls away from my eyes. Probably, I just didn’t care. And there again was the truth, I realized, and I tied back my mop, because ugly or not, I ain’t putting this pony out to pasture.



About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

28 responses »

  1. Hahahah, kids are so cute and embarrassing about stuff like that. Pony tails are convenient, damnit!

  2. I have to disagree. When I was about 14, I read in Seventeen about a poll that was done with a bunch of rando guys in Manhattan. An overwhelming majority of them said they liked girls with ponytails. ……It’s science.

    PS your blog is great. 🙂

    • Hmmm, can i really accept what a bunch of 15 year old boys think? They were probably stoned and watching Tara Reid show her boobies. Maybe she was wearing a ponytail at the time?? 😉

  3. I never wear them. I have many reasons. First, my hair is too heavy and it hurts my head. Second, my face shape is all wrong for them. I look like a cow. Third, I don’t want to be in the habit. Once you start, it seems impossible to stop.

    cute blog. You have a cute kiddo there.

    • It’s true.. it’s an addiction now. I know i look like a “moon face” but i can’t stop. So maybe you’re right not to start, but i see you and it seems impossible that you could look anything cow like. Unless it’s one of those really cute ones. Thanks for visiting me. 🙂

      • aww you’re so sweet! You know what broke the habit for me was an old hair dresser. I was complaining about how much it hurt to have up. She suggest I cut it off. I said no way. I look horrible with short hair. She said, umm…..if you wear your hair in a pony tail, it is like short hair with no style. She was right. I haven’t done it unless at the gym since.

      • aww you’re so sweet! You know what broke the habit for me was an old hair dresser. I was complaining about how much it hurt to have up. She suggest I cut it off. I said no way. I look horrible with short hair. She said, umm…..if you wear your hair in a pony tail, it is like short hair with no style. She was right. I haven’t done it unless at the gym since.

        Following you btw. I hope you stop by mine and poke around. It may not be right for you, and I understand. I write satire so some that offend don’t like it.


  4. You always look beautiful!

  5. Michele Zukowski Byrne

    you have fabulous hair, any way you wear it……..your hairdresser knows……;)

  6. I am similarly addicted. And I couldn’t function (read get done all the shit I need to get done) without a ponytail. Or maybe that’s how I justify getting my ponytail fix!? I’m not sure why I bother getting my hair cut and styled every 7 or 8 weeks when I just stick it in a pony until the next appt. I love how you described your personality in a pony and with hair down – exactly me!! Great post!

    • i want to be funny right now but i’m sleeping on the keys. and my hair is not back where it should be and has fallen in my face.
      i do the exact same thing. i only let my hair out to play on my random nights out. why?
      Thanks! I’m so going to sleep now. 🙂

  7. pony tail or no pony tail, you always look “mahvelous”

  8. If you think boys ate critical and brutally honest, you should hear what daughters have to say. They don’t like ponytails on me either but have grown to understand it is a necessary part of life…

  9. Lol – I am a pony girl every other day – read – down when washed, up when not (knot ?). But I definitely feel prettier on a good hair day with it down. The boys are on to something.

  10. Loved this!! My boys have noticed my gray hairs, yellow teeth, bad breath…the list goes on and on…I looooove my pony tail and it’s uglier sister the bun! Hayden draws every picture of me with a bun!! Great post! I’m sure you look great either way:)

  11. My pony tail is the only thing that keeps me from getting an eye-lift. 🙂

  12. I am more of a bun on top girl… Same idea… Can’t think without my hair up!! My daughter tells me to take my hair down when in contact with her friends… Lol

  13. This is so funny! My sons don’t care one way or the other about ponytails!

  14. Winnie Schindler

    kids never lie, they know what they like, unlike husbands need the atom bomb to fall on us , and not sure if they ever notice. love

    On Mon, Aug 20, 2012 at 7:36 PM, Icescreammama


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