It’s the first thing I want to see every morning. I’m drawn to it like Jen to Brad, like Brad to Angie, like Angie to voodoo. Usually I could find it in the dark, with my eyes half-closed and make it work its magic, but not this morning. This morning, the worst thing has happened, my Keurig is on the fritz.
My Keurig coffee maker has been my morning happiness for over five years now. I see it and Om, which is the exact opposite of my state at present. I’m desperately opening the front hatch and closing it, ineffectually pulling out the plug and restarting, but so far, my dealer won’t deal. I shake it. Where’s my cup full of happiness, damn you!!!
Wild-eyed, I’m staring at the little coffee pods, trying to figure if I can open one, dump out the grinds and just add hot water. It could work, I reason. I’m in the process of ripping off the top of one with my teeth, when Tyler catches me.
“Whatcha doing mommy?” Tyler asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Maybe he’ll just think mommy’s madness is a bad dream. “Nothing.” I say in a high pitched voice. I sound wired, when I am anything but. “I just can’t get this dang thing to work.” I fake a weird laugh. Now I’m Snow White meets Marilyn Manson.
“Oh.” He is unaffected. “Can I have breakfast?”
“Sure.” I distractedly put a bowl, a carton of milk and a box of cereal on the table in front of him and turn my aggravation back toward the machine.
Two minutes later, I’m still futzing, repeating the same obsessive tactics to no avail when I again hear, “Can I have breakfast?”
I turn. “Tyler. It’s right in front of you.”
He doesn’t even look at it. “But you usually pour it for me and everything.”
I do? Hmmm. Suddenly even with the fuzzy, caffeine-withdrawn head, I’m having a moment of clarity. “Uh baby, you’re 10. I think you can pour your own cereal.”
“But you do it better.” He almost whines but manages a cute, sleepy smile again.
Two other boys bound in. “Hi mommy!” They chime. “Mommy I want pancakes! And bring them in the TV room. With milk.” Michael orders. “Me too.” Julius mimics. “And I want cereal too. All kinds, mixed together.”
They bound out. I look around confused. Did they just place their order as if I am their waitress? I look to Tyler for validation. He looks at me with an equally dumbfounded expression, then says, “Uh mommy. I’m waiting. And you forgot the spoon.”
Wow. I’m still reeling from the breakfast orders when Howard strides in, talking full steam ahead. “You’ve got to pick up the dry cleaning today. And do you know where Tyler’s chest guard is? If it’s in the dirty laundry you need to have it clean by tonight. I might need you to pick me up at the train and bring a sandwich or something. And remember the bags and water and stuff.”
I nod absently as he rushes out, places a quick kiss on my cheek. “See you later.” He pops his head back in. “We also need crickets for Smiles.” Then he’s gone.
I’m processing my second set of orders when there’s a yell from the other room. “Mommy! Where are my pancakes!”
“And cereal!” a little voice adds.
Tyler is still looking at me expectantly. I ignore him. I’m having a moment. I might explode. All it will take is one more…, “Mommy,” Tyler interrupts. “Did you charge my iTouch last night?”
That was it. He has no idea what he’s in for. I’m about to tell him that that if he can’t pour his own cereal, he certainly can’t have an iTouch that he can’t even be responsible to charge! He needs to start doing things for himself. I can’t believe I let this go on so long. What was I thinking?!
“Tyler,” I open my mouth to speak and simultaneously hear the sound of liquid dripping into a cup. I quickly cock my head like a soap opera character listening to her contemplative inside voice. Something is calling me. I cannot resist. I move in and smell the warm, rich aroma filling my cup. Breathe. Breathe. I watch it gurgle to its finish, add a splash of milk and sip. Mmmmm. Om. Happiness. I lean up against the counter, hearing nothing, seeing nothing, just enjoying my moment. I am right next to the silverware draw. Unconsciously, I pull it open and take out a spoon for Tyler. It’s all good.
You didn’t mention the backup in your trunk. Lol
Shhh, you don’t want people to think i’m crazy, do you? 😉
Back up what?? A backup Keurig?? ☕
Great scene for a sitcom– I can envision it!
now we just need a sitcom. paul?
Reblogged this on calmyourbeans.
Ha! Love this! I can feel that euphoric feeling when you took that first sip:) heaven! Love the descriptions of the boys’ demands-soooo know that feeling!
thank god for coffee… and ice cream of course. 😉
Loved it as much as I love my morning cup of coffee!!!!!
wow! that’s a lot! 🙂
I loved reading this and can totally relate- I freak if we run out of Dunkin Donuts. I completely blame louis. LOL
Is louis your caffeine dealer?? Or is he stealing all your coffee? 😉
This is perfect – every word resonated with me. Your writing is fabulous! So funny and insightful. I wrote a similar post called “Get Your Own Damn Tissue” about my children’s demands and my willingness to become a short-order cook/valet/servant. Our kids have it soooo good! And I’m coming over for pancakes tomorrow!
well, you just made my morning and i’m only one sip in. thank you.
so… do you want chocolate chip or strawberries?
can relate to this story .
Why don’t we grab a cup and talk about it. 🙂
Cup full of happiness–love that. So true. Sigh. My mornings are an endless barrage of kids/husband asking me questions, too. Where’s this? Get me that! Get me this! I do feel like a waitress. Still waiting for my tips.
tip – don’t bother waiting. 😉
hahaha! like angie to voodoo.. i like that
but so true, right… 😉
Great post! I can identify with the Keurig issues. I’m on my third in a year and a half, but fortunately the present and previous ones were under warranty. For me it’s Folgers Caramel Drizzle, Hazelnut or, if I’m trying to behave, Decaf (does that even count as coffee?). Thanks for sharing
yes decaf counts! whatever gets you through… 🙂
(i’ve got a backup in my trunk)
Good for you! You’ll probably need it at some point. I’m glad decaf counts since the fully leaded doesn’t do me any good;) I drink coffee for the flavor and for the heat (my husband thinks he married a vampire because I’m always cold and drinking hot drinks to warm up).
lol!!! So funny! Thank you for sharing this. I definitely need to get one. I’m shocked that they’ve been around for FIVE years?? I just heard of them a month ago!
PS-My son and husband have this same “entitlement” attitude sometimes too. I’m trying to get rid of it. I’ll let you know how that goes. 😉
yeah, let me know how that goes… good luck. ha!
run to bed bath and beyond (with a coupon) and get. changed my life. 🙂 hahaha
My bday is Jan 4th. I can handle folgers for a couple more weeks… I’m certain that I’ll never be able to go back once I make the switch. Sounds amazing!
i don’t want to oversell, but i have a back-up in my garage in case it breaks. happy birthday! 🙂
lol Good thinking!!