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Divided Mom Stands. United She Falls.

Shh! Don’t anyone make a move or say a word. I don’t want to scare them off by alerting them to my presence. Right now at this very minute, my three boys are in the other room – get this – playing nicely together.

I have not heard one of them yell “Stop it!”. I have not had one of them run from room to room searching me out to complain. I have not heard the heaving cries from a child flailing underneath his older brother, or the mocking taunts usually accompanied by the gyrating victory dance of “Oh yeah, I’m good, you suck, oh yeah.”   There have been no tattlers coming to tattle or whiners bemoaning their plight. The house is eerily void of the usual, “He hit me! Get off my chair! You can’t play! Leave me alone!!” banter always punctuated with a loud “MOM!” at the beginning, middle and end.

Right now, they’re all cooperation and consideration.

I don’t know what’s gotten into them.

Maybe they are still a bit shaken from earlier, when I found them jumping from the top bunk into a sea of pillows and comforters that they had pulled from the beds. Until I informed them, apparently they had no idea how dangerous this was. No one strips off all my linens unless they’re doing the laundry.

Waiting for the other shoe to fall – or hit me in the head, I tentatively peer by the archway to the living room. The floor is covered with action figures. They are very busy, setting up Skylanders, army men and Mario Bros figures; each boy with his own castle to protect.

I listen in on complicated trade negotiations.

Oldest – Can I have Hot Dog? I’ll give you 5 army men and Bowser?

Youngest – No way. I love Hot Dog, but I’ll trade you Spyro.

Oldest – What? You have Spyro too? You have all the good guys!

Oh no. Trouble.

Middle – How bout I trade you my Trigger Happy?

(Pause)

Oldest – Yeah, okay, I can do that.

Wow. Problem solved and crisis averted without parent intervention.

I love it!

Quietly I tip-toe away.

But then I realize something. If they really joined forces, I would be outnumbered in movie choices or eating out. I might have to schlepp to unwanted outings like Game Stop or the town pool if they all agreed. Oh God, I might have to get a dog. I often relied on their division to keep from doing things I didn’t want to do. Alone they were a single, sometimes whiny voice but united they were a force, their powers tripled. If they really started working together, they would be unstoppable!

Uh oh.

“Hey guys,” I call out, testing the waters, “What do you want for dinner?”

A chorus of conflict immediately responds.

“Chicken!”
“Pasta!”
“Cheeseburgers!”

Whew. Still safe.

 

Trouble..

Oh, that’s trouble.

 

 

 

 

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

38 responses »

  1. This is hysterical!!!!! It’s true too, not sure what’s worse when my 3 are at each others throats or when they are plotting against me!!! Great post!

    Reply
  2. It’s always eerie when their is silence. I hope they don’t read your post. Keep this post under lock and key. It may give them ideas! 😉

    Reply
  3. See, I would have thrown chicken, pasta, and cheeseburgers into a bowl and mixed them all together. But I’m kinda mean that way…

    Reply
  4. They will NEVER agree If they did we’re dead

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
  5. HAHHAHA…I had my boys 11 years apart, yet they STILL managed to fight with each other…

    Reply
  6. This was so much fun to read; you and your boys are so cool 🙂

    -Naima

    Reply
  7. hehe oh man. having an only child does come with some advantages that’s for sure. 😉

    Reply
  8. I will share this with my daughter – she will love reading it, too.

    Reply
  9. Alisa I think I’ve outdone you. I just found a voodoo doll of my younger daughter in my older daughter’s room. Now if I find some of her hair from a brush in a vat full of bat eyeballs it could be end of times kinda trouble.

    Reply
  10. For your sake, I’m glad the boy’s unity streak was broken. Can you imagine having to buy a dog? My husband is campaigning for a family dog. I told him not until the baby is out of diapers. The last thing I need is more poop around the house.

    Reply
  11. I don’t know if 3 boys is anything like 3 girls, but if it is, I promise you there will be no agreeing at all, at least for the next 7 or 8 years.

    Reply
  12. Loved this. So funny! I always wonder how I’d manage with more than one and I think I know the answer – I wouldn’t!

    Reply
  13. This is so funny Alisa! My favorite: Oh God, I might have to get a dog.

    Reply
  14. I read the first two paragraphs and thought, surely, you meant this for the fiction grid. 😉

    Kidding aside, it’s a great post. Thanks for inviting us into your house, and sharing what may just be a once in a lifetime moment. *grin*

    Reply
  15. Bahaha! This is what I have to look forward to! At least here, you’ve given me a clue for future to me use! (^haha, fiction grid!)

    Reply
  16. Domestic politics are complicated without children. I can’t imagine the intricacies involved with 2-3 more people involved.

    Reply
  17. This is my house 🙂 I have three boys under the age of three! It’s craziness

    Reply
  18. This is so funny and so true! I have four and I remember well when they were young how quickly they could outnumber me when they stuck together!

    Reply

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