Good morning. It’s a lovely day out there. Perfect for a run. Now, I’m not the gal who loves her runs, I’m the gal who loves when they’re over. So chop, chop. The faster we start. The faster we end.
First check the sneakers. I am what some might call a ‘loose tier’ which means, I have a tendency to not give my all to the laces, leaving them apt to untangle. Trust me, I don’t need any more help tripping.
Just some unnecessary information, my husband is a ‘tight tier’ which as you might imagine is the opposite of what I am. He’s actually quite condescending about it, constantly berating me and my children for our slack. When he ties a knot, Boy Scouts beware. You will be sleeping with your sneakers on forever. But enough of that. Off we go.
So this is my neighborhood. I admit to loving it. The trees, the people waving as I pass. The kids on bikes. The woman speeding down the street! Hey Bitch, that wasn’t even close to a complete stop! Are you kidding me?!
So we’re going to turn here and make our way down to the water. Isn’t this nice? Take a moment in your own heads to continue cursing out the lady who has no respect for stop signs.
Great. Now relax. Isn’t the water peaceful?
Oops people ahead. Beep beep. Nope. No one moves aside even a little. They are too busy chatting and enjoying the beautiful day. That’s okay, I’m feeling zen from the water. I’m not even going to push them in.
Look baby geese! So cute!!
Look out! Geese poop! So not cute!
Okay team, we’re past the half way mark, let’s head on up to the main road. This is the tough part where you need to keep your mind occupied because there’s not much to look at.
I’ll tell you a joke my 5 year-old told me the other day to keep you distracted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he didn’t have a car.
Yup. He made that up out of his cute 5 year-old brain. Let’s ponder his fabulousness for a moment.
So now, we’re up at the main road. Pretty typical looking. Lots of cars. Hope I don’t see anyone I know because, well, I’m not going to show you a picture of my outfit because I’d like to maintain the image of me running in matching, flattering workout gear.
So tell me about yourself? Do you typically run? What do you think about when you do? Right now I’m thinking I’d like to stop at the ice cream store and get a cone of rocky road.
Really, I’m really so glad you’re here. Usually by this point I’ve deteriorated to mentally judging everyone one I pass, but you’re giving me positive energy. I didn’t even mention that teenager in short shorts trying to show off her vagina. I might be trying to impress you.
Guess what? We’re almost done. I think it’s gone so fast because I’m really entertaining. Maybe? Come on, I bet you don’t even feel like you worked out? One last hill and we’re back on my block. Let’s sprint this last stretch, shall we? You can do it. I’m right behind you. Ha. You fell for that?
Woo! Home Sweet Home. We did about four miles. Great job! Race you back to the ice cream store?
I’m so winning.
I live around nothing but giant hills, so running around home sucks! I’m going to start running again one if these days though.
i thought after your post yesterday, you’d be inspired.
Oh I’m inspired, but I’m also tired. There is the lazy thing too. Lol. I’m going to run after work tonight. No excuses!
same. and it’s like 100 degrees today. yes, go tonight. just say you’re going to go for 5 minutes, then go another five and another until you’ve had enough. then get your nice cold beer.
Every time I start reading one of your posts , I’m prepared to face something great….
…..my expectations haven’t been disappointed ,up to now!
Ciao , bella!
ow. that hurt.
Ha! Yep, that’s about the stream of consciousness of a runner. I wish I had water to run next to! You’re too funny. 🙂 While I run, I tune out the world and tune into my running playlist. I focus on lyrics, the steady beats and just run. I haven’t really adjusted to running without music, for fear that I will be bored to death!
i lost my shuffle thing i used to run with so i started relying on my brain to entertain me. sometimes, that’s not a good thing. 😉
Oh that is so not fair but so totally funny!! You had me going there for a minute 🙂
i cheat a little. 😉
yeah cheating is okay every once in a while…just don’t let the kids know that 😉
I’m new to running, but when I do, I imagine eat! I live in the city, and I run past a frozen yogurt shop. Every time I loop around it, I imagine being there with a massive, gorgeous, yummy yogurt! Ironically it’s probably too many of these yogurts (slathered in chocolate sauce) that got me running in the first place! 🙂
same!! a lot of the time i waste thinking about what i’m going to eat afterwards – and it can definitely be a huge yogurt – i’m big pb and coffee flavored fan, heaped with toppings. yum! sometimes i try to talk myself into having food instead, but it generally doesn’t work!
Is pb and coffee… peanut butter??! with coffee? mmm, I can’t say I’ve heard of that, let alone tried it, but it sounds interesting! Imagine eating definitely helps me to get round! Loved this post! 🙂
oh yes! i love peanut butter flavored fro yo mixed with cappuccino flavor smothered in chocolate sprinkles. it’s my happy place.
I’m a cyclist, and I am driven to the point of homicidal fury by people who refuse to share the path (mostly casual walkers. Runners are better. Unless there’s more than one, in which case they form a whole ice cream social across the entire path. BEEP BEEP).
My partner is a runner. She loved your lace-tying categories (as did I).
you’re right! as a cyclist, i’d probably want to run them over. very frustrating. thanks.
I obviously love this post. I run without music, so this is basically the stream-of consciousness that runs through my head too, with the occasional I HATE RUNNING thrown in because at some point during every single run I decide I hate it so much and am never, ever doing it again. Also, since I run early in the morning I’m usually thinking about breakfast.
so glad. i was a little worried with the change of tone from my typical story stuff. thought i would be fun to try pictures and be light and hopefully funny.
Love! I should start running again to compose blog posts. Maybe it will go better and I will go more. Last time I went I count to 10 and prayed I made it to the next lamp post without passing out.
thank you! you can start with walking posts! slow and steady,,
Love this journey. I burned a ton of calories.
yay! come again! we’ll fat talk the whole way and then go for ice cream!
I loved the run! Why don’t people ever move over?? I have had to step onto a busy street because of it. I don’t think I’ll do that anymore. My mind wanders when I run…a lot. I think we would be good running buddies 🙂
so glad you joined! i love the wandering brain of running. but sometimes those people just get in the way! ha! i guess it gives me something to bitch about it for the next few minutes in my head. 🙂
You always make me smile. And now my thighs feel tighter too! Thank you! I’m running with Ava tomorrow in Girls On the Run and may do a similar post. We’ll stop for ice cream every 1/2 mile and think of you! 😉
can’t wait to follow you and ava! that’s so fun! i’d run today but it’s like a heat wave over here!! maybe i’ll suffer through, just so i can write about it. 🙂
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Haha! This post left me feeling warm, you’ve got a penchant for storytelling. Thanks for the read!
thank you! i really appreciate you stopping by! 🙂
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HAHAHAHA!!! This is the first post of yours I have read…and I’m hooked. Awesome post! I needed this kind of laughter in my life today. 😀
thank you so much!! i hope you come back to visit! 🙂
You can count on it!
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I really enjoyed the run! I’ve just started the C25K program after taking about 2 years off running regularly. Of course I’ve packed on several unwanted pounds so it’s a little rough getting back into it. I wish I had such an entertaining area to run through…I’ll come back again to check out your next one!
thank you! i hope you. i’m about to go run now! dreading it!! procrastinating at this very moment. it’s never easy. 😉
I love running and your post made me smile so much! I also love ice cream.Thank you!
we’ll then we are instant friends! 🙂
Reblogged this on To Challenge, To Inspire and commented:
Wow, some of the thoughts going through your head are exactly the same as mine! Oh, yes, I love ice cream, too. Too much sometimes. The more I run, the more almond pistachio ice cream I can eat! This is wrong I think…No wonder I am not losing much fat, but getting fat. 🙂