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What’s a Girl to do? Act like a Boy.

If there are any boys reading this, please stop immediately. This is not about you. It’s for girls’ eyes only. Really, no big deal. You’re not missing anything. In fact, I think there’s a ball game on. Yep. And I left some chips on the table as well. That’s right, go on.  Good boy.

Okay.  Now that we’re alone, I’ve got something to tell you guys, uh, girls. I honestly can’t believe I’m going to say this, because it goes against some deep rooted beliefs, not to mention the dynamic of my marriage, but, brace yourselves – there are actually a few areas where girls could learn a thing or two from the boys. I know, I know. But, it’s true. Being the mom to three boys has taught me, that we ladies are not always right. Oh, man. Did I just admit that out loud?

Well now that I’ve gone and said it, I might as well give it you. Who knows, maybe one of you will actually listen and wind up a happier person. BAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, here’s my top five areas where I believe the boys have got us beat.

1. R E L A X I N G

I rush around, preparing them to catch the bus, ushering them to put on their shoes, finish their food, get in the car, while they meander about, moving in slow motion and half hearing my panicked pleas. It’s like they just don’t care if they’re late to school or a game or to pick up daddy at the train! They have an internal clock and it is set on laid back. While I think their time management kind of sucks, I am the stressed out one, and they are smiling goofs as I tornado around them in a storm of efficiency.

2. And on that note… Delegating

Work smarter, not harder. I don’t know any guy who gave up his chance at marriage and kids by being the office schmuck, but I do know a few girls. They’re really smart girls too, always willing to stay later, to prove themselves, to get it done right, and most importantly, to do it all themselves. For some reason, girls don’t like to share, even work. I guess, it’s because we think we do everything better. And, ahem, even if that’s generally true, the boys are doing less and walking away with more.

3. Confidence

Day in, day out, I am semi-consumed with my weight and my appearance. I study how my arms flab out, my skin gets pink and prickly, or how my stomach no longer seems completely attached to my stomach, but my boys, even the adult one, seem blissfully content as they pounce around naked, happily displaying themselves. Boys just beat each other up. We beat ourselves up.

4. Appearance

“Here, wear this.” I throw some sweats and a tee shirt at my son. He grabs it off the floor without looking and puts it on. I do that every morning to each kid, and each kid accepts my offering, in exactly the same manner, without complaint or interest. There is no feet stomping, laying out outfits days before, or refusal to wear any color other than ‘purple’. There’s no, I just must have Ugg Boots and Lululemon pants or I won’t fit in! (Oh wait, that was me). Boys don’t define themselves by what they are wearing, or use it to make themselves or others feel inadequate.  Clothes are just clothes. Although, I would appreciate if they made the effort to at least not wear them inside out or backwards.

5. Simply Simple

Comparing boys to girls of the same age is like comparing kittens to cubs.  They are both cuddly and cute, but the girls have claws and are dangerous, while the boys are just spitting puffs of fur. As the boys run, skip, barrel and roll all over the place, the girls are slowly licking their paws and stalking their prey. Sometimes, it’s nice to stop the grooming and calculation and just jump on the pile up. Roll around, get dirty, and say what you want! “I need to poop!” might be the frequently verbalized expression in my house, followed closely by “Mommy, can you get me…” And “I need a hug.”

There’s not a lot to figure out there.

Of course, my boys (besides the grown-up one) haven’t hit puberty yet, so this can all change in a few short hormones. But I think these generalities are actually pretty standard, just as, what just happened in my house a minute ago.

Boy 1 – Mom, can you get me a snack?

Boy 2 – Mom, can you find my other sneaker?

Boy 3 – Mom, I need to Poop!

And there I go, getting snacks, finding sneakers and appreciating his shit. So I’d say, for everything I know, I pretty much haven’t learned a thing.


Forget I said anything.

Now, that's confidence.

He’s sexy and he knows it! Dirt pile, here he comes!

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

40 responses »

  1. Ha!!! I want to relax and just wear whatever!!!

  2. I don’t think we need to learn to wrestle though. What IS it with boys and wrestling?
    Also, my youngest has, I’m afraid, a keen sense of what he will and won’t wear. The eldest definitely ticks the ‘mum just pick me something’ box though….

  3. Love this! Other than the hubs, I live in a house full of girls and I’ve never really thought about it quite like this. I have to admit that you are right (just don’t tell my hubby I said that!)

  4. Winnie Schindler

    always said boys are much easier, and they never leave(always stay in your heart). so be prepared for that girl, that one day will think they are taking over. (ha love you still)

    On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 6:52 AM, Icescreammama

  5. alisa, this is a great post and I can totally relate,being outnumbered in my house with boys and yet I grew up in a house with 3 sisters! I am always thinking about “one more thing” that I still need to do on a 24/7 basis. As my boys will tell me quite often “Chillax!!!”

  6. Little boys give great hugs!

  7. Yes very good post….
    Relaxing and delegating are absolutely incompatible with women ( girls…) of all ages!
    But also the other ” qualities” you mention , confidence , appearance and simpleness pertain to the” strong sex “. You’re right!
    Though I’ve always wanted to have a daughter , I wonder if I have ever valued enough the lucky fate of being the mother of two boys , instead…
    I don’t think I would have been able to face a “complicated “girl….!

    • i wanted a daughter originally as well, but now i’m so used to the boys, and they are so delicious. a daughter is more complicated… but wonderful in different ways of course. we get what we get and we don’t get upset. 🙂 all good.

  8. Boys are interesting. My four boys make me look at my girls and wonder sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, my oldest girl is a tom-boy but she’s at that age where she is starting to act a lot like me and that’s just a lethal combination and my youngest is a little diva. From the clothes to the nails to the hair…she’s not afraid to get rough if she has to but gosh…the pink!! Aghghgh!! My boys are just awesome – clothing, as long as it falls into their sensory criteria we’re good. Activities they are simple because they have their obsessions. See, even special needs boys are easier than girls!

  9. I’m slightly envious of boys’ obviously skewed self-image in the opposite direction of girls — i.e., they think they look awesome even when they really, really don’t (and this seems to carry into adulthood). However, last summer we visited my partners’ family with her four nephews, and one thing that was constantly irritating was their uncanny ability to always, ALWAYS, hurt each other and themselves while playing, usually in record time. From what I saw, boys play rough and they do stupid things, and this flaw also doesn’t disappear as they grow older.

    Still, I grew up as a tomboy and remain one to this day. I would be utterly stumped to have a daughter that was a girly-girl.

    • me too – on the confidence front! boys are so proud of themselves for everything they do! but they are rough! a day’s not complete unless one of them is hurt and crying!

  10. samanthabmerel

    I think “being able to leave dishes in the sink” is an other category. I have to do the dishes right away or I get anxiety. I don’t know one single man who could say the same. Love this post!

  11. I always love to read your work! Yes, boys do seem to be a bit more laid back. I am from a house full of girls and we it was very different! Thanks!

  12. Great post and a useful one 😉 although the application of these areas is extra challenging for us girls

  13. Fiction&Development

    I have learnt some thing new and I agree that women should let go sometimes.

  14. Yep. Relaxing is a talent!

  15. “Boys just beat each other up. We beat ourselves up.” Sad, but true.

  16. I never thought I’d say this, but I need to learn from the males. Relax? Delegate? Why do I push myself so hard?
    Wow, this has been revelatory for me…

  17. Oh so true. As a mom of boys, I can only hope they enjoy some of the predominantly male personality traits.

  18. Your post made me laugh. Boys – and men!- do seem to be experts at relaxing and delegating. I love that your boys say “I need a hug” so often. My son turned one, so my journey is just beginning.

  19. So, so, so TRUE! Good one 🙂

  20. Oh, he is so damn cute! And I agree – I could learn a lot from my hubs about relaxing and wearing whatever I want. One of these days, I’ll give both a try! Great post!


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