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Parenting Moments I now Miss that Totally Annoyed Me at the Time

Every morning, so early my eyes couldn’t focus, I would stand downstairs in the kitchen, preparing very specific lunch and snack requests for my kids for the day. On auto-pilot I would put up the water for fresh pasta (Parmesan in a Ziplock bag on the side) or Annie’s Macaroni and cheese shells. Yellow only. Don’t even think about elbows. There were other annoying necessities, such as slicing grapes, not only so that they wouldn’t be choking hazards, but also because the bruised ends which attached to the vine, offended them. The crusts on any sandwich must be banished, and hard boiled eggs must be void of any remnants of yellow. Any.

As mommy, there were so many particulars that needed tending to simply get through a day responsibly and with the least amount of tantrums. “Not the blue bowl!!! The red!”  But now that we’re a bit older, a lot of these peculiarities or young needs have faded away. And now, believe it or not, I kind of miss them. Well, some of them…

The 3am Wanderer – It wasn’t a routine thing. I was always pretty strong about keeping my bed, uh, I mean mine and my husband’s bed, off limits, but there were times, of course, when I would wake to find a child’s foot kicking me in the back, or an arm over my face. So annoying. So warm and sweet and delicious. And annoying.

The Tickle Back – For years, I couldn’t leave my middle child’s room without going through an elaborate ritual. “Tickle back, Mommy! Do it harder… softer… No, this way… You forgot arms… Sorry, you didn’t do that well. Try again!  It was an arduous test to pass every night before I was released to my own rewards of ice cream and Housewives. These days, I am literally dismissed. “You can go now, Mommy.”

The Bus Stop – The bus stop is on my corner and I am the corner house, so it’s not exactly a schlepp. Still, many a day, I stood there, sometimes freezing, sometimes corralling a younger sib or worrying because I left someone in front of the TV. I’d wait impatiently to hear those screechy breaks on the corner before ours. But now, my 5th and 2nd graders are perfectly capable and happy to walk the 10 feet to the curb themselves. I watch from the doorway, but they rarely look back.

Play! – “Mommy, let’s play Pokemon/lego/dinosaur battle!” Really? Do we have to? Apparently, we always did. So we’d sit on the floor and set up 100 figures and then “pshew pshew” shoot and fly them across the floor at each other. “What are you gonna do?!” My kid would ask desperately, as I tried to sneak a peek at the open newspaper next to us. “Uh, I’m gonna thunder punch?” I’d say, without enthusiasm. My bad attitude was never noted, as long as I came up with something. “Revolving kick!” He’d boom back energetically, clearly to make me look bad in front of my ‘men’. Not that it mattered. His figures would always spin round and round, throwing mine across the room.
These days the only thing the boys want to battle with me over is their playing time on iTouch, Computer or Wii.

The Butt Wipe – Yeah, I know. Who’d miss that, right? And while I might not actually miss the physical wiping, I definitely do miss the build-up. “Mom! I need to poop!” Followed by, “Done! Done! DONE!!” And then there are all those fascinating positions for optimal wiping. Okay, TMI, but, now my little boys just go on their own. Done. At least they still regularly forget to lift the seat and I wind up sitting on pee. Sigh. It’s the little things.

Mommy Don’t Go! – Oh the drama! Oh the tears! But boys, mommy is only going out for a little. Mommy needs wine and therapy, I mean friends. Cue clinging and snotting and hanging on legs. On occasion, a child could be physically ripped wailing from my body as I ran out the door, only to be seen as a desperate little face banging on the window. They couldn’t bear to part with me. Now they stare at the TV as I yell loudly, “BYE!” and they (sometimes) look up and bless me with a smile. Oh where have all the good times gone!!??!

All the older moms always say, you’ll miss these days when they’re gone. I look around. There are toys and crap everywhere, laundry piled high. I bitch about it constantly. Will I miss this mess? I consider my house, devoid of the clutter, neat and perfect (come on, it’s a hypothetical fantasy!), and immediately, I know I will.  Because when it’s gone, they’re gone.

I’m going to try to remember that the next time I’m dragging my kid out of bed to wake up.

*My youngest just forced me into having a Battle of the Skylander Figures. Taking #4 off the list immediately. Bleh!

The dreaded battlefield. It kills me every time.

The dreaded battlefield. It kills me every time.

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

48 responses »

  1. I miss the dinky car crashes and stunts. My youngest and the boy next door used to play dinky cars all the time. Every imaginary crash and stunt had to be rewound and recreated in slow motion with a play by play.

  2. Dinky cars are the UK version of Hot Wheels 🙂

  3. we still have food ‘rituals’ – for me edamame was the worst – i had to push them from the pods, then take off that flimsy skin from each one!! it’s good your husband is changing his eating habits, right? i’m assuming for the better. ha!

  4. I’m one of those older moms…….
    Ciao , mia cara!

  5. Mine are 7 and 10 and I don’t miss much on here! When they’re gone, I miss the noise. They still shower me with hugs when I leave. When that stops, you’ll see lots of tears.

  6. Winnie Schindler

    you know one day you might really miss it all, but once your on the island sipping your drink it fades just a little more.

    On Thu, Apr 18, 2013 at 7:02 AM, Icescreammama

  7. Thanks for this. Good reminders to enjoy the ‘annoying’ things. Even the butt wipes! 🙂 Reminds me of my favorite line from the movie ‘HOOK’ that we were just watching last night: “We have a few special years with our children, when they are the ones that want us around. After that you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. Its so fast Peter. Just a few years, and its over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.” I need to hang that quote on my wall as a good reminder! Thanks again! Great post!

  8. Oh my gosh. The butt wipe… Sometimes the most hysterical thing ever!! Other times you wonder why you ever took them out of diapers because that made it easier to clean..
    The drama. I’m glad that’s over!! I may eventually miss it but for now. I’m happy it’s over!!

  9. I know I say it everytime but you are so talented at getting to the honest feelings of a mother. You have just described my house, my boys and me. I dread thinking about the day they leave but yet the daily grind can be exhausting. Thanks for reaffirming my feelings:) great job!

  10. How very, very appropriate to read this this morning. I snuck away to my office with my nice hot coffee, leaving my children to finish getting ready on their own, because I was feeling fed up with their uncooperative attitudes about getting ready for school. Thank goodness today they both had hot lunch, or I’d’ve been making lunches and cutting off crusts.

    Thank you for reminding me that one day, my morning routine will be very different and I’ll miss this craziness.

    • it’s hard not to be frustrating when they’re… Frustrating. 😉 but it goes so fast.

      ahhh i wish my kids would ever take hot lunch! They flat out refuse! annoying. 😉

  11. Mine are still little and I miss alot…I can’t wait to see what else I’m going to miss as time passes. Awesome post!! 🙂

  12. This is good to read since I still do most of these things all the time.

  13. Aw usually people’s posts are all supporting my waiting to have kids, but these gems put a kink in their progress. Very sweet!

  14. My oldest son has recently transitioned to calling me “Mom” instead of the usual Mommy. He insists that he has always called me that, but I certainly know different. It just sounds different and it sorta makes me sad when I hear him call me that. Silly, I know, but I miss hearing the Mommy (even if it is with a whine). BUT, I wouldn’t necessarily trade that in for him making his bed and putting his clothes away … most of the time 😉

  15. Love it, and could relate to it in more ways than one.

    Actually, I’m sitting here eating peanut paste (old habits die hard), no butter on the toast, only on white bread, and toast has to be well done and completely cold.

    Strewth, what am I saying 😉

  16. I miss the diaper changes…well I have a baby right now so I obviously don’t miss them with him. But I miss the diaper changes with my daughter (who is now 6). Why? Because diaper changes were also the times we would have little “talks”, smile at each other, etc. Baby and mommy bonding time!

  17. I find it hard to believe I will miss it too. But I know one day i will see the vintage Fisher Price Village in the basement and long for my little one to beg me to play “town.” Probably not this week, though 😉

  18. Ah yes!!! I love this post!! I can totally relate to all of these lovely momisms… (I made that up I think) and I still do many of them and I am anxiously awaiting the rest, but anticipating the sigh of remembering…

  19. Yep, you got me tearing up again. I don’t miss the butt wiping, but I will miss the energy and light my daughters bring to our house and all the easy ways of taking care of them (draining, repetitive, but easy). I hope I’ll be too old and senile once they’re gone to miss them cause my heart hurts just imagining it. Great post!

  20. Deliberately Delicious

    You are such a good mom! I miss the hours and hours of Go Fish that my middle son loved to play. Mind you, he’s still good for a game of Kings in the Corner any time I suggest it.


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