I’m tucking my three boys into bed. They are all naked, except for their underwear. It’s how they sleep. It’s how their father sleeps. The cool temperature of the house doesn’t seem to affect them at all. Not that it’s freezing or anything, but we sleep with the thermostat set at 67 or 68 degrees. I am in sweats, a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks. They are baby bear cubs (minus the fur) rolling all over their beds as I try to shove them into the warm cave of blankets. We do not seem of the same species.
I often feel that way, being the only girl in my house. I’m constantly the odd, uh, man out. I want the house warmer, they want it colder. I want to bake cupcakes; they just want to eat them. I want to read them stories, they want to build a house out of the books. Sigh.
The differences don’t end there. In fact, they’re just beginning, leading me to believe that in fact, we may very well live together but exist in different worlds. Case in point…
I’m the only one at the dinner table eating greens. They just look green if I make them eat any.
I am the only one who sees things. I actually did an experiment here. Not one of my boys or husband noticed the Monopoly game dead center on the floor of our hall for days. They walked past it, stepped on it and even tripped over it, actually kicking it across the floor, but no one ever thought to move it.
I am also the only one who can find things. It’s a string of, “Honey, where are the keys? Mom, where is my basketball shirt? Where is my lego guy? I can’t find the mayonnaise. Did you see my hat?” I mean come on people, “Table, drawer, under bed, fridge, on floor by shoes.” Duh.
I am the only one who can just roll up my sleeve and take a shot or give blood. They wrestle and beat each other to the ground, no problem. They can come home with scratches on their face, but no memory of how it actually got there. A tiny prick in the arm? Babbling, snot bubbling tears. Really?
I am the only one who can tell time. No husband, 9:30pm at night is not when we start a game. No son, 10pm is not when we remember we forgot homework. Nor is when we decide to be hungry. And kids, whether you are finished with what you’re doing or not in the morning, the bus for school does not care. 8:25am. Get your butts out there. No, you cannot have just one more minute. Just look at the clock.
There are also simple differences. They all favor vanilla. I am chocolate through and through. They love the ocean. I am land locked. They are all good at Math. I don’t even trust myself with a calculator. They beat each other up. I just beat myself up.
Is it gender inherited? Is it learned behavior? I tend to believe that they are who they are, just as I am who I am. Trust me, I tried to turn them to the dark side, of chocolate of course, but they couldn’t be swayed. I try to open their eyes, but they just can’t seem to see the same things I see, and not in the same way I see them.
It may just be that boys will be boys, and girls will be girls. Totally different, yet, most of the time, living together in harmony. So, while I may be destined to be the only person in my house who can find anything, at least I know that no one is going to be stealing my ice cream.
I have one of each and you’re right. They just come out that way. My daughter was born into a house full of trucks and balls and when she saw her first pink frilly doll, she went absolutely mad for it. My son had opportunities early on for both sets of toys and always went for the boy stuff. He beats up anything that moves. She is much harder on herself. Neither, however, can find anything. Ugh!
Sometimes gender doesn’t have anything to do with feeling like you are on “your own island.” I grew up in a family of all women (my poor dad. Even the dog was female). We couldn’t have been more different from each other. All in a good way. I just think that we are all wired differently. But I hear you – It can be frustrating to try to have people see “the beauty” in things the way you do. Luckily in your case, your family doesn’t find chocolate all that beautiful 😉
Great post. Great things to think about.
i guess what you’re saying is people will be people… yeah, true dat!
I grew up in a house full of girls, and in a family filled with girls, so it was my dad who was the odd man out. It was only once I got married did I really understand how different boys and girls are, for all the reasons you write about. Every time I find myself losing it because my husband just stepped over his dirty socks on the floor for the 5th day in a row, I try and remind myself that we really are just of a different species.
we really really are. it’s amazing. and patience for things you just don’t get is really hard!
Right! If they can’t find it, they can’t steal it. I love this line: They beat each other up. I just beat myself up.
One of your best posts ever.
lol- if you can’t beat them…join them. Love this post!
It drives me crazy that my son,without fail, will ask for something to eat right before bed! Love your photo at the end. 🙂
thanks. why do they do that?? i give a last call for snack. and then again.. but no…
I’m the only female in my house, too, and I’m right there with you on the heat. I am always bundled up and under blankets, and they are always in shorts and tee shirts. We all fight over the chocolate though–it must be nice to be the only one who likes it 🙂
(By the way, I think your link to here from the grid needs to be fixed.)
ahh so i got lucky that they are all boring vanilla!! i’ll take it!
and you’re right, my link is not working. hmmm, i guess i’ll leave a comment…thanks
Lol. I have a feeling that our baby on the way will be a boy, in which case I will be in the same situation–3 boys, a hubby, and me. I would chalk their not being able to find anything up to their young age, but their dad proves me wrong on that front almost every day. *sigh*
it’s in the genes!!! i swear i something watch them with my mouth agog! yes, i just used the word agog. kind of like it. agog. agog. ok, i’ve just gone off the deep end. agog. can’t stop!
Look, I could try and dispense a whole lot of advice here, or maybe Janet should, after all I think she would relate to this (hell yeah)…but maybe we should just cut to the chase…If all else fails, just eat more icecream!!!
oh i have been!! ice scream mama has been bad today!! those boys!! good thing they’re sweet too. 🙂
Well done on the chocolate ice cream scam, mama! I don’t know if you’ve described all males, but other than the shots/blood letting, my husband is identical – hot to my cold, blind to my all-seeing, vanilla to my chocolate and all the rest. Outnumbered is never a good strategy, but I have a feeling you are adored all around! Love that pic!
yeah yeah. 🙂
(oh, and i almost got beat for that picture. my husband was not thrilled to be outed. i couldn’t help it. it worked to perfectly! )
I think they’re born different than us. It is something I’ve enjoyed watching through the years, them growing towards manhood and seeing how very different they are from us.
Oh, I love this and I completely relate. It’s eerily similar to my own family. I have two boys. All the things you mentioned, right down to the ice cream flavor are right on! My older son walks around in the dead of winter in nothing but a pair of boxers. I’m like “Aren’t you freezing?” He’s not. Meanwhile, I’m wearing just what you described and cranking the heat. Great photo; you have a beautiful family!
Boy do I get it!! So well said ( and written!) But remember you will forever have three boys that need and love their mama.
wow – so surreal for me. I have 3 girls. And every single one of them is completely different from the other, except in one way: their favorite thing is whatever the other ones have.
all 3 of my boys are totally different too. in looks and personality, but they do have some similarities… same as yours and the big one, being able to tune me out when i’m asking them to do anything. 😉
I’ve discovered living alone makes you think more like a male…housework not done who cares the pile will be there tomorrow,something on the floor well at least I know where it is, washing or playstation hmmmm let me think.
ha. yeah, but it’s good if a little of them washes off. now if only i could get a little of me to wash off on them…
My mother-in-law raised four boys. I think this is why she is so close with her daughters-in-law. I have one son and three daughters and he is different than the girls, always has been. Mostly he just can’t leave them alone — he always has to be touching or annoying his sisters. Always… sigh…
I have one of each and am very thankful to have my daughter for back-up. Boys? Seriously crazy creatures, although I love mine madly. You described their quirks so well here.
Cheers to no one stealing your ice cream!
I think it’s a mixture of socialization, gender, and genetics. My son would sleep naked if we let him. But since he’s also prone to streak through the house shouting “WANKER”, he’s required to at least wear underpants at all times.
those boys just love themselves naked!!
That was awesome – all the little differences between boys and girls. We have one of each (twins, at that), and while there are a lot of things they do together, there are definite gender specific differences that were not taught by us. Maybe you’re right – boys will be boys, and girls will be girls!
there are definite traits that i think are just with us. it’s hard to ignore that girls gravitate toward pink princesses and boys to throwing trucks without prompting.
thanks for the awesome!! 🙂
Omg, this is sooo my house…especially the fact that nobody’s eyeballs work around here….
nothing. they see nothing in front of their faces. that, and their hands don’t seem to work often, like they can’t get anything themselves.
Do you know how many times I say “Husband, it’s 9pm this is not when we start a movie!” I think being the mom of a boy, or more than one boy, when there are no girls about, is bound to be just like you say!
a bit like being a cat among dogs!
Our house numbers the same as yours. Except I see the things from the Dads point of view. We all have our differences, but that’s what make us who we are.
I have to admit though, when I was younger, it was easy to be a lot more dependent on my wife to do all of those things that you talk about. But now I try to help her out as best I can and in turn I get our boys to chip in as well. Give them a little time. Guys are slow learners when it comes to stuff like this. At least in our home, anyways. 🙂
girls are a bit slow too, we keep thinking things will change. ha.
but i do appreciate your more mature self… but i have my doubts around here. 🙂 it’s ok, there are benefits to being the only gal as well.
I adore this post. It was so smooth! I didn’t stumble over a single word. I am out numbered in my house too but I do have a daughter to keep me company at least! Of course she does eat my ice cream…dammit.
thanks. i might share might ice cream with a daughter. nah, who am i kidding, i’d get her her own tub! 😉
Oh how I love this! Your depiction of the differences, the foreignness yet familiarity of your boys, is so vivid. Also, “baby bear cubs”? Priceless.
I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve always told myself I wanted boys out of the fear of not being girly enough to raise girls. You have totally changed my perspective!
haha. no fair. boys are fabulous, but that’s another essay. 🙂
Why, why are males unable to see things? Sigh… I am the only girl, but I’m not nearly as outnumbered as you are. Just the same, I see the similarities in my house to yours!
maybe they could invent special glasses for them. they obviously need corrected vision. 🙂
I, too, am the girl of the house. Two boys and my husband, and now my father-in-law has moved in. AND they eat my ice cream. All I can say is that sanity is overrated.
come on! I can take a lot but that is totally over the line. you need a secret hide-away!
:::snicker, snort::: um, hi! I HAVE a secret hideaway, you’re in it. Thank goodness for the internet. I can’t keep ice cream in here, but I usually have chocolate. 😉
OMG, I thought it was just me. Thanks for this post!
there are so many of us out there! thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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