The phone rings. I immediately recognized the number of one of Tyler’s friends. Not really wanting to, I pick up.
An extremely bored but familiar voice says, “Hey.”
“Hey,” I respond back and wait, but that was all I was getting.
“Do you want to speak with Tyler?” I prompt.
“Uh, yeah.”
Uh, fabulous.
Rolling my eyes (I am years away from them getting stuck there), I yell, “Phone! Tyler!” but there is no response.
Tyler is a very focused boy and I happen to know that he is watching an extremely important episode of Sponge Bob. “Tyleeeeer!!! PHONE!”
That did it. Something penetrated. My shaggy haired boy slides in. “What?” He asks, clueless.
“Here.” I hand him the phone. Instantly, my son becomes animated. I listen in fascination to him planning some complicated play date. Uh, I mean, hang out. At 10, it’s a hang out. My bad.
Tyler finishes his conversation which consists of a bunch of “yeahs” and “okays” then reports to me.
“Okay, I’m waiting for Jack and then I’m going to Rick’s. We’re going…” The phone interrupts and Tyler immediately answers.
“Oh hi, Luc.”
He instinctively walks into the other room for privacy, where some heavy negotiations are in play.
After a few minutes, he returns. “Okay, Jack is going to Luc’s, so I’m going…”
The phone rings again. I’m guessing there has been a breakdown in the talks.
“Hold on.” He grabs for it and then runs into the other room.
In one minute, he’s back. “Okay, this is what’s going to happen. Because Jack talked to Luc first, now we’re both going to Luc.”
This is what’s going to happen? Who is this kid?
Unbelievably, the phone rings again. I don’t even look it. “For you?” Tyler smiles sheepishly and disappears. The negotiations resume.
When he returns, it appears there has been a settlement. “Okay, so Jack is coming here and we’re walking to Luc. Rick’s out of the picture because Jay called him, but didn’t call Luc and they don’t want to hang out with so many people because Brian was already going there. It’s okay, because when Rick and Brian are together sometimes it gets, you know, anyway, so we’re just going to Luc’s.”
I’m speechless and exhausted, but have enough strength to raise a brow.
He gets it immediately. “Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.”
He smiles his goofy, boyish smile. I am wildly in love. He is still so much my baby and so solidly boy, and the next stage stands knocking at the door.
“Mom! Jack’s here! Can we go?”
I follow to where his friend waits. They exchange a very cool and manly, “Hey.”
I stand at the screen, watching them go. They start off walking. By the second house away, they are arm in arm, skipping for the half block to Luc’s. Then, there’s some pushing. Tyler’s friend is on the ground. Wait. He’s up. They’re arm in arm again, a skipping to Luc’s house they go.
My heart skips with them. My first real pre-teen moment. Sigh. I was on the verge of serious sappiness, when the phone interrupts my thoughts. It has begun.
Part of the posse, just hanging around.
This is so damn endearing. I love how you did this without being sentimental or overwrought. And your boy sounds so dear!
thank you!!! it’s hard for me not to be overly sappy sometimes. i am the inside of lava cake. he is so sweet. i’m afraid for the day he isn’t.
did you check out the book??
Great moments…all part of the experience, for mum and son! 🙂
i know, weep weep. darn! now my ice cream is all wet!
Gah, as the mother of a 6-year-old boy this made me feel so anxious for what’s ahead! Not in a bad way, just in a way that he’s even less my baby than he is now! Phone calls, “play dates”… though I’m heartened by the arm-linking and skipping 😉
it is scary. but he’s still such a baby, even though he’s not really a baby. i’m just going to keep hugging him up as long as i’m allowed. 😉
I know those days well!
are you still in them? or have you survived them?
I am in them. I have 3 girls. Ages 8,9, and 17
do the two younger ones stresswize equal the bigger one?
Actually, the younger ones stress me out more than the older one.
huh, good to know. 😉
Great post as usual,great feelings , great read!
thank you. big 🙂
omg. love mom
On Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 6:53 AM, Icescreammama
Feel your pain ( and pride). I totally anticipate that day. Great essay ( as usual!!!):)
As a former sixth grade teacher, I can say w/ confidence that you captured the pre-teen persona perfectly – that age where they’re still little kids, but not wanting to be little kids in front of you. By seventh grade it all goes to hell and they are permanently cranky. Enjoy this next year and a half while you can. 🙂
oh crap! now i’m really afraid!!
Love this! I love the way you celebrate this place in your life – and your son’s development. You’ll know he’s truly a teenager, when all communication is conducted via text message and Facebook 🙂 I’m not even sure if my 16 year old even knows how a regular phone works…
i know it’s coming, but i’m sticking my head in the sand as long as i can.
Absolutely! I’m doing the same, even if I can see how close my eldest is to moving out…
This is great. You have the sweetest boy.
thank you. really. 🙂
Oh my God…. I cried! “He smiles his goofy, boyish smile. I am wildly in love. He is still so much my baby and so solidly boy, and the next stage stands knocking at the door.”
They grow way too fast, and I LOVE how you described this beautiful snapshot of life with your boy.
Awesome job.
thank you. it’s all so tender, right? so sweet and bitter sweet??
My son’s only 4, but I already fall “wildly in love” and am completely disarmed by his goofy smile. Your post is the first thing I’ve read that doesn’t make me want to freeze him at his loveable 4 years of age. I’ve been dreading the tween/teen years and feeling like I’ll lose my baby. But this post makes me feel like our relationship will endure. And grow. Thank you for another simply beautiful post!
thank you. four is gorgeous and so is five and six and so on.. i can only say from my experience, but my 10 year old is delicious. i am afraid what’s coming, but i’m going to pretend it’s going to stay this way.
How cute! I love that he’s still got some child like joy skipping out of him! This was a great read. I really felt where you were coming from as his mom.
thank you. he’s still such a pup. 🙂
I remember these type of negotiations. It doesn’t get any less complicated for a while though I suppose!
i’m hanging on to them for dear life!
My older two are 18 and 11 and I’m still in the phase of “if a parent hasn’t talked to me about it, it didn’t happen.” I must be a fuddy-duddy. Evidenced by the fact I just used the word fuddy-duddy in 2013.
you did not just say fuddy duddy.
well, now you go scidaddle, you rascally whippersnapper.
Great read; I can totally relate! I have my own shaggy haired boy who is in sixth grade – starting to talk to girls, but still calls me Mommy (in private) and gives me hugs.
i love it!! don’t let those hugs stop!!
I’ve have kids call my boys and do the same thing. They just stayed there awkwardly on the line not asking to speak to them. Thank goodness for Skype and texting.
phone etiquette has seriously suffered. we’re not up to text and skype. i’m afraid!
Loved your post. I am in the throws of the next upcoming stage of teenagedom. Glad you are cherishing these current moments. Heads up- brace yourself and consider a gps tracker 🙂
oh man!! i have to take it one day at a time or i can’t take it! 😉
My oldest is 12 and if you refer to time with friends as anything that doesn’t sound like “big kid, grown up stuff” he gets pretty darn surly.
great. so i’ve got about a year.. sigh
Dang woman, you write so well!
well dang it back, thank you. 🙂
Oh, your son sounds like a gem! I’m wildly in love with my son, too. He’s 7.5 and still sits in my lap, which I will never discourage because he won’t do it forever…
never discourage. and i want to say, i hope he does it forever, but i guess that would be a little creepy. 😉
i friggin love this post. brilliantly told. was right there with you watching the phone exchange and skipping down the street. thank god i have a little more time to experience this…
thank you. it’s so beautiful and could a break a mommy’s heart.. in a good and bad way. ahhhh!! growing up ain’t easy!
Lord, I can’t wait for this…..
i love that you said Lord, you brought me right down south 🙂
Love this! I’m just starting to see my son have friends that have conversations and what not at school and I know it’s just a matter of time before he’s asking for his friends to come over or to go out with them and he’ll be a big kid. It’s crazy! Thanks for this little glimpse of my future!
thanks. so far so good. i’m hanging on to that boy for dear life. 🙂
When they get older, the secret is to not say anything when you are driving them around – just listen! This is so cute!
i’ve got that little tidbit tucked away for future use. thanks. 🙂
OH GOD this AGE. I recently had the “playdate vs hangout” lecture from my 9yo; yet we line up her stuffed animals each night at bedtime. Betwixt and between.
oh yeah, we do the same, and mine is a boy. 😉
I love how he was able to keep track of all the chaos of the changing plans, as though it was nothing! I would be all “uh… what???”
ha! they have their own language!
This is such an accurate account of the way pre-teens plan their “hanging out”. It’s almost like you need a play book to follow along with them.
it’s another world!
And the next stage…and the next stage…sigh. For what it’s worth, I am still wildly in love with my 13-year-old. There’s just something about boys and their mamas. My dear old dad was a mama’s boy till the day he died…at 81.
i love that. there’s hope… 🙂
This stage is so far away for my babies, but I still remember this for my little brother (who is 11 years my junior). I also remember when girls were calling non-stop and they would giggle insanely just asking to speak to him. Such fun!
Ah, the teen years. All I can say is good luck!!
thanks!! it’s a whole new world…
I hear you, mama! My 9 year old daughter is on the train and it ain’t stopping anytime soon. I love that you are “wildly in love.” What a great line! Hugs!
so wildly. 🙂 that train better move slow, cause i’m being dragged out the back.
Aw, I absolutely loved this! I have a 13 yo and what you described is dead on! So funny; the negotiations are epic and when they exchange “the manly “Hey”…just spot on.
thank you!! i’m at the beginning and i’m already terrified!
This is such a sweet post! You painted a lovely picture with your words.
thank you so much
What a lovely story. I remember my kids growing up in front of my eyes, scary, funny and bittersweet.
thank you. i know. i love it and can’t stand it and am terrified.
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