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Doctor Love

I always favored women doctors, especially for women things. I mean, who’s really going to understand a yeast infection? Or birth? Someone with a penis or a vagina? It’s hard to argue the obvious. But nine years ago, when I moved to my new town four months pregnant, I needed an Ob/Gyn stat, and it seemed the name that fell from everyone’s lips was Dr. David Goodman.

“Dr. Goodman is amazing,” gushed my realtor.

“I love Dr. Goodman.” The woman from the nursery school practically swooned.

I wished David was a Danielle but I decided not to argue a multiple source recommendation and made an appointment.

I expected Dr. Goodman to be kind and experienced. I didn’t expect him to be young and charismatic. A little too charismatic, causing my mother upon meeting him to flutter and remark. “Oh, that Dr. Goodman is quite good-looking.”

She wasn’t wrong. For an Ob/Gyn doctor he wasn’t all that bad, and for a hormone infused pregnant lady, that was pretty good. We chatted easily, and he casually threw flirty compliments my way which made me glow, although I let people think it was the pregnancy.

Of course, I now understood part of Dr. Goodman’s wide appeal, but there were problems. There was no way I could have this man patting down my breasts while talking casually about the weather. And an internal? No sirree, not if I could find another doctor in the practice to see at those times, which I did. Clearly, Dr. Goodman and I were dating. I certainly wasn’t going to give away the goods without a nice bottle of wine, which I couldn’t have for another five months.

So I continued to see him on appointments where we listened to my baby’s heart beat and we chatted about movies and local restaurants I imagined he wanted to take me to. It was all so lovely. I began to look forward to every appointment. Maybe a little too much.

The morning I went into labor, I called him at a little after 5am with contractions fast approaching 5 minutes apart. He was at the gym. Of course.

“Don’t worry about it, baby.” He said, totally cool. “Just wait till they’re three minutes, then head to the hospital.”

He called me baby.

I couldn’t breathe. I started to pant. Oh yeah, I was having a contraction, but still, I knew that after the baby was born, I would have to break things off.

It made me sad.  He was a good doctor, but it was all getting a little too awkward, for me at least. For him, it was just another one of his babies having a baby.

He wasn’t on call when I delivered, and for my six week check-up I made my appointment with Dr. Jeanine in the practice.

We were over, but I avoided seeing him at the office for fear he’d ask me why I’d left him.

What could I say?

“I like you, but I don’t feel comfortable with your hand between my legs?”

Sneaking out seemed the best option.

Not long after, he left the practice to start his own. I’m sure many women followed.

But not me.

Dr. Jeanine and I are still seeing each other.

Hi, what can I do for you today?  photo cred: xlcountry.com

‘Oh, you’re not feeling well? Maybe I can help.’

                                                                                                                                         photo cred: xlcountry.com

About Ice Scream Mama

Mama to 3 boys, wife to Mr. Baseball and daughter of a sad man. I have a double scoop every day.

40 responses »

  1. I totally get this. My OB was a dead ringer for Noah Wylie on ER. And he was the same age as me. But he was a brilliant doctor, one of the best, so I stuck with him. He ended up delivering both my babies. But he moved to another town so no more awkwardly flirty appointments for me.

    Reply
  2. I have no problem with a male ob/gyn, but they definitely shouldn’t be flirty. There’s just something wrong with that.

    There should be a rule about male doctors being good-looking. “Hmmm, you’re a smart fella and made it through med school, but you’re just too attractive. Sorry, dude.”

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  3. Ooh. Where do I get me a Dr Goodman? ! :)

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  4. Oh, it’s all so awkward. The small talk drives me absolutely crazy. There are times when there should be no chit chatting!

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  5. I love this! Really great story, and written perfectly! I definitely prefer lady doctors, and you made it very clear why!

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  6. I have had more than one awkward experience with male gynos, but it wasn’t because they were flirty — just creepy. I prefer women now, but when a male OB was on call for my son’s birth, I had no problem with his hand between my legs — I just wanted that baby OUT!

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  7. I hated the male gyno when my daughter was in utero. When I was pregnant with my son, I suddenly loved him. Can’t explain that.

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  8. This is why I don’t see male doctors. Okay, well, one reason why. This post made me chuckle. :)

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  9. And this is why I have a female gyno. I would not have been able to handle any of that.

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  10. I’m with you…female docs all the way! And this was hysterical.

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  11. I love this story! I actually recently started seeing a male doctor for the first time and it hasn’t stopped being weird yet. I’m considering abandoning ship for a woman too.

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  12. When it comes to my lady bits, I really do prefer a lady doctor. The one I’ve got now is fabulous.

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  13. I sort of feel the same way about female proctologists. Not that I’m fond of male proctologists either.

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  14. I’m with you, I prefer female doctors. However, my reasoning has never had to do with the possibility of being attracted to the doc! This was hilarious. A man poking around all in my lady parts and all over my boobies if he isn’t also filling my dishwasher and changing the baby’s butt is just wrong.

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  15. My doctor was shy which really makes for an awkward moment. There were 5 doctors in the practice and I was praying he would not be on call when I went into labor. Of course he was, both times! We have reached a good place now, but I still prefer going to the other doctor.

    Reply
  16. Oh my gosh – I had a physical therapy doctor like that once. I’d be lying on the table while he pushed my leg up and down thinking impure thoughts. I experienced a little withdrawal when my therapy was done. Thank God my OB/Gyn’s have either been very old men or women.

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  17. hahah i’m dying. so funny. my gynie is pretty smokin’ hot too (yes, a guy) but he’s a bit older than me, fortunately. not THAT much older, but enough to know we’re not dating. ;)

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  18. Oh, too funny. My OBGYN could have been my dad, so I’ve never had to break up with a doctor like that. :)

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  19. Super blog ! Je débute mon blog mode et beauté http://delbeauty.wordpress.com/ allez y ce serait super gentil :) Merci

    Reply
  20. At least male guy ecologists are putting their hands in places you don’t mind them being in. Me, I developed a (short lived) crush on a gastroenterologist. Nasty.

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  21. “Baby?” That would’ve done it for me.

    Reply

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