Love. Love. Love. Your drool is adorable, your poop, a topic of conversation. Never leave my side. Stay forever in my arms. You are mine. I am yours. Before you, life had no meaning. Before you there was nothing.
Oh my baby. My poor sweet child. Don’t be sad. It’s only for a couple of hours. Everyone goes to nursery. Why? I don’t know why. Good question! Why?!! No don’t cry. You’re making me cry. Okay one more hug. Okay one more. Okay, Just one mor-
Yes, I know he’s going to be fine. Okay… shut the door.
(I’ll just be sitting here.)
First day of Kindergarten. Can’t…. even….. speak.
What’s going on, my love? Yes, I would Love to play dinosaur battles with you! Yes, I want to color! Yes we can build a set-up! Yes, I will even listen to the really really long and convoluted story about the dragons you are breeding on your video game and all 112 words you have made up for your own secret language. Tell me. I am fascinated.
Of course! Have all your friends come over! Everyone is welcome! Five on five wiffleball/soccer/football/basketball in the yard? Fabulous! Manhunt through the house? Movies? Wii? X-Box? Great! I’ll order a pizza! Who wants fresh baked cookies? Weeeeee!!!
Uh okay, of course I’ll drive you to your friend’s. Again.
Me: Can I make you pancakes?
Me: Hey that was a good game you played today!
Me: Who did you hang out with at the party yesterday?
Him: Eye roll
Sigh. (Both of us)
How are you? How’s school? What’s going on? What’s new? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you comfortable? Do you have friends you like? Do they like you? Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? Want anything? Can I help you? Hello? Are you listening? Hello…
*Now that I’ve got you sappy, depressed and terrified for life with a teen, please go check out my latest essay running over on Scary Mommy today which I titled ‘It’s not you, It’s me. Okay maybe it is you, but just a little.’ but they titled, Underneath His Teenage Scowl. Just click on the link. Thank you guys!